cultivating the beautiful ordinary by sharing our tales and our tables
“Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace.” Luke 8:48 “Orphan” comes to me with connotations of lack—lack of guidance, lack of love, lack of place, lack of belonging. Though I never knew the absence of parental guidance in my life, I encountered a season as a spiritual orphan in my 20s, lacking community,…
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“What is grief if not love persevering?” — Vision (WandaVision, ep. 8) The cardboard box near my feet is worn. Across the top the words “family pictures—basement” tell me it was packed as we consolidated things in our Michigan basement before moving to Austin. The box holds about eight large-size Ziplock bags stuffed full of…
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I lie still, my back pressed into the blankets on the summer sheets, arms clasped across my chest, eyes closed. I cross my feet. Sinking, sinking, not drowning. Gravity compels the air to form to my body, enclosing me, swaddling me. As my body floats, the bed disappears.
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The pH (acidity) of our blood must be kept within a very narrow range (7.35-7.45) for life to remain viable. Anything outside of this causes our body stress and, sometimes, harm that isn’t reversible. Panic attacks, diarrhea, dehydration, kidney malfunctions, and hundreds of other things can cause the body to become dysregulated. Our bodies are…
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With one hand I hold tightly to my husband, in desperate need of his support, and with the other I push him away. It’s confusing and frustrating, but this is how the young and scared part of me struggles for control and acts out in fear. My mature and wise adult self knows better. I have…
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I grip the steering wheel of the parked car, working up the nerve to cross the lot and enter the bar. The doors of my jetta hold me in. I can stay here forever, till I choose to spill out and into whatever the night holds. Already, the setting sun floods the scene before me,…
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It was the fall of 1976, and it is likely I was wearing a “wrap skirt” that day when I showed up to help with hot lunch at the small Christian Reformed grade school where my children had recently started attending. In that kitchen, making hot dogs, I met Barb for the first time. Her…
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The last few nights I have been sleep deprived. I squirm under my cozy covers in an attempt to relax, but my chest feels tight, as if my breath is constricted. My body is weary. I attempt to ease my mind, as anxiety-filled scenarios swirl around my head like an annoying replay. After a long…
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A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions. – Oliver Wendell Holmes Growing up in a religiously conservative, white community in America’s heartland, my view of the world was rather small. My community included our family farm and my grandparents’ house, which was next door to…
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I was called a tween this week: the in-between years of parenting your own kids while taking care of your own parents. It sucks every bit as much as middle school. The night before, we received a phone call at 2am. It was not the first time. My mother-in-law woke disoriented, fearful of the man…
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