You Are Welcome

Hospitality: The friendly and generous reception of guests. I have a love/hate relationship with hospitality. It feels formal with the connotation of performance and I feel unnatural and fake. When I first had children, hospitality was a strange cocktail. I really did want friends in my life. But I also felt pressure to have the…

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Familiar

This season feels familiar. I find myself repeating these words often. When this happens, I have learned to take notice. It is the start of a new school year. The four children who live at home range in age from 15-10. These are my (not so) littles who are now the ages of the “bigs”…

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A Voice Stolen

Dear Younger Self, I’m sitting in my living room with a deeply affectionate boy in my arms and another sweet boy growing safe inside my body. I can’t help but be curious about who you were so long ago. Were you anything like this stubborn, imaginative two-year old who is now leaping off the couch…

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Washed in Wisdom

Where had the summer gone? Faced with so many responsibilities, I walked to the edge of the shore and curled the sand back with my toes. On the surface of the water, I watched my reflection converge with my shadow on the sand. I’m sure I looked silly, standing there watching the kids play, attempting…

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Stretch Marks

Chris caught the flu near the beginning of my second trimester with Asha. At the time our home was under construction in an attempt to restore decades of mold and wood rot that we unknowingly inherited. Our first house, once a hopeful purchase, had turned into a homeowner’s nightmare, and we could not wait to…

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Relative Age

Dusk was falling on another Saturday night in the Chicago suburbs. My siblings and I, all under the age of ten, had been entertaining ourselves during a long, lazy day at home. It was just before dinner and we’d pulled a gigantic floor pillow in front of the couch, jumping like acrobats from the couch…

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My Grandmother’s Hands

Twenty years ago, Chris and I moved our family back to Michigan, where we both grew up and where most of our family lived. I was glad we took the opportunity after getting married to leave and experience other places and people, and I was also glad to return when we did. By then, we…

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More At Peace

I will always be perplexed as to why hair is so deeply tied to our identity.  I also wonder why haircuts, new coloring, or any significant change throws me back to Junior High.  I am my body. I am more than my body.  But my hair sometimes seems more than me.   I couldn’t believe what I was seeing…

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My Stroke

I stared at the round objects I cradled in my hand.  Now, what were they?  Why was I holding them?  They looked so familiar – but what was I to do with them? Still in my pj’s, I wondered, maybe John would know. I’ll just ask him.  I looked around for John, the still dashing Naval…

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Tattoos or no Tattoos

There are a few things about aging that have surprised me. They are the ones I’ve noticed today that I am sure were not there yesterday. Aging can be as simple as the deepening fine lines around my eyes or the wrinkling of skin on my once taut thighs. I have to admit that the…

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