Betrayed By My Body

Since I was sixteen years old, I have felt betrayed by my body. Most of the battles I have fought with my body have been underneath my own skin. Potent diagnoses, mostly invisible to strangers, acquaintances, and loved ones alike. 

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Body as Story Teller

I awoke just before 5 a.m. with the heart crushing anxiety I have become acquainted with in this season.  I used to curse it and fight against it, but I am learning to embrace it.  I put my hand on my racing heart and gently said “welcome.”  As I sat in meditation my heart continued…

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The Arms of Safety

The arms of my oversized chocolate brown chair hold my tired body as I bring the face of my discontented daughter towards me. Her quivering lips latch on and her squawks slow to a grave whimper as she suckles the milk from my breast with a sweet hum of contentment. Oxytocin forges through my body…

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My Body’s Story

Prior to entering a new patient’s room, I review words and numbers in a chart in order to gather as much information as possible. Reading a patient’s chief complaint, I learn about the nature of his or her visit whereas her past medical history gives information that begins to tell a story about what her…

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Embodied

“The definition of ‘wholeness’ includes being fully integrated as a human being, body, mind, and spirit.” – The Life of the Body “You’re okay,” I whisper, as the muffled thumps of the MRI machine begin to pulsate around me. My shoulders tingle in response to the tight enclosure. I feel a surge of fear and…

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Young Again

My husband began cycling a little over 25 years ago. He became both an avid cyclist and competitive, riding in a number of races and regularly biking 30+ miles multiple days per week. Three years ago he had a serious cycling accident. Riding on a familiar route his tire hit a rut in the road…

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The Leaves of Lórien

Our histories leave trails behind us Whether we remember, or not Clues, leaves of Lórien let fall By our younger selves In hopes We might come back someday To rescue the little child within In hopes We might remember To find healing In hopes That we might forgive The child within And finally remember Who…

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Do Not Disturb: A Touched-Out Mom

Music was softly playing in the background and my three-year-old and infant were sweetly sleeping in unison while my husband and I were driving on our way to a fun family outing. Breathing in deeply, I quietly savored the calm that surrounded us in the car. My husband must have also been enjoying that moment…

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To Agnes, the Patron Saint of Women’s Hair

When the Securitate would enter our house, my sister and I would hide in the bathroom, the one where the tile and commode and even the porcelain tub was pink, and tell each other stories. There was the story of the gypsies who kidnapped fair-headed children like ourselves, cut off a hand or foot, then…

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