Transitions are…

With one hand I hold tightly to my husband, in desperate need of his support, and with the other I push him away.  It’s confusing and frustrating, but this is how the young and scared part of me struggles for control and acts out in fear. My mature and wise adult self knows better.  I have…

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Body as Story Teller

I awoke just before 5 a.m. with the heart crushing anxiety I have become acquainted with in this season.  I used to curse it and fight against it, but I am learning to embrace it.  I put my hand on my racing heart and gently said “welcome.”  As I sat in meditation my heart continued…

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What Number Are You?

Growing up as the youngest of 11 children was a novelty.  In gatherings when we were introduced to our parents friends they would ask “what number are you?”  At first I was proud to tell them I was #11, the “caboose.”  The first and last seemed special, the beginning and the end.  All nine children…

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Ready or Not, Here I come!

From the moment the work truck pulled into the driveway when the kids were small, a beautiful anticipation bubbled up and filled the air.  Happy squeals and scurrying feet abounding as we all took cover to hide from dad, including the big black lab who always gave us away. Kevin would enter with such joy and…

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Love the Process

The process of grief is anything but linear.  What would be nice is a clear cut path with a beginning and end, but that’s not the way grief works.  It feels more like a tidal wave that comes out of the blue and knocks the wind out of you, or a dull aching pain that…

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Just the Beginning

“Bean, I’ve made it home!” I felt my dad’s spirit speaking to me through the pitch black night. As I stood alone with this new truth and my sister’s words “dad’s dead” summersaulting in my head, I turned my gaze up toward heaven.

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Take A Step For A Change

Eleven years ago I took my first step on the wellness journey by meeting with a spiritual director.  I believed that wellness was a destination and with a little help, I could get from here to there. 

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