Unspoken

When your prayer request isn’t just for your grandma’s dog, you quit requesting so much. Don’t request at all, unless asked. Then it’s How’s your mother and you have to decide if you’ll lie in church—Fine—or tell it. She’s safe. She’s driving down to Memphis again to check on him, seems he’s got a cyst,…

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Is Reconciliation a Lost Cause?

I try to remind myself not to look at my phone. It’s the countdown—two minutes, five minutes, twelve minutes, twenty-five minutes. and so on. The text turns blue, reads delivered. What I want is to be pursued, known, seen. I want my pain to matter to her.

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Destiny and Decisions

“Your destiny is never tied to anyone that left you.” — Thomas D. Jakes Your destiny is important, though sometimes people can’t see it, so they overshadow you with their own ambition. They place you last. They never listen. Your ideas are only valuable as long as they benefit. Often deemed charming narcissistic personality types,…

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Hope Is Not a Lost Cause

I started to lose you on Christmas Day. Never have I experienced such agony as my worst fear unfolded into reality. I didn’t understand what miscarriage could be—the intensity of the physical process; bodily desperation as my reaching arms tried to hold on, tried to save my child who is already gone; the depth of…

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When Abandonment Strikes

Sometimes I wish I had a magic forcefield around me that could protect me from the fiercest of strikes. When I think of a military strike, I think deliberate, planned, intentional attack…that is how I see abandonment. It is a military strike against my whole being that is planned and strategic so that it can…

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Seminary Dropout

This must be how it feels to start the protocol to set off a nuclear warhead. My dry eyes idled on the screen as I scratched my hot armpits. I finger-combed my hair and massaged my scalp. I tapped the “Confirm” button, refusing to think further.

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Grace Is the Way

She looked at me with tears in her eyes, as if she was seen for the first time. Between the tissue sopping up her wet face and deep sighs, she said, “I don’t know what I did wrong. I can’t escape his mental and emotional manipulation even though we aren’t even together anymore. I’ve been…

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The Hope of Rescue

In my life I have often found that the thing I most desperately long for in others is the quality I am longing for within myself. I have wanted to feel safe. I have wanted friendships that I could trust. I have wanted friends that I could depend on. I have longed at times to…

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Rare Finds

One short block away is the beach. The soundtrack of the waves rolling consistently onto the shore travels the distance in the cool and refreshing tailwinds. Wrapped in a large beach towel, I notice the softness and warmth of its fabric and the vertical stripes of its rainbow colors. Sitting in the dark of morning,…

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Theme to Consider: The Lost Cause

For the month of June the women of Red Tent Living will be considering the theme, The Lost Cause. Join us by reading along or by gathering some women around your own table to share stories provoked by this theme.

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