The Civil Wars

We look at the world once, in childhood. The rest is memory. –Louise Glück   A few months ago, my husband and I lay under our down comforter, which felt far too heavy for a mild Florida winter. I felt empty and bored after a long day with the kids, so I roused an argument…

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Ready or Not, Here I come!

From the moment the work truck pulled into the driveway when the kids were small, a beautiful anticipation bubbled up and filled the air.  Happy squeals and scurrying feet abounding as we all took cover to hide from dad, including the big black lab who always gave us away. Kevin would enter with such joy and…

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Strangely Protected

There is a certain intimacy that accompanies prayer with another person. One would think that the person closest to you would be the easiest one to engage in prayer, but I have found that not to be so.  John and I have had numerous fits and starts to a prayer life together that dwindles before we…

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Life by Numbers

The kitchen clock breaks the silence of the early morning as I wait for the Keurig drip to complete its work, reminding me that the demands of the day have begun. Coffee and quiet reflection, reading, solace and contemplation must fit neatly into increments metered out by the demands of the day. Numbers soldier their…

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Time to Dare

My husband held me back with a force he used as a defensive lineman in high school.  His face was intense and I didn’t care.  Our next-door neighbor was screaming at me and his words lit me up like a prairie fire.  As quiet and kind as I can be, this man evoked a rage in me that…

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Searching For Home

Nearly 70 years ago, my grandparents boarded a ship, crossed the Pacific Ocean and came to a new and wonderful place called Dallas, Texas. They were some of the first Chinese to be in the city. As believers and well-educated, they had by the hand of God escaped persecution. It was in a day and…

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I Don’t Do Needy

I don’t do needy. Which means, I don’t do sick. I don’t do broken bones. And I don’t do hospitals. At least, I didn’t do those things until four months ago. In late March I was bustling around a friend’s kitchen, blending graham crackers and dumping crumbs; all to whip together a graham cracker crust.…

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No Labels at Our Table

Released into the sunshine to work in pairs, we were grateful to leave the small confines of the conference room that held 10 therapists for an Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprossessing (EMDR) training. Our exercise was to identify a lie we believed and think of resources that could be internalized to counteract that as part…

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Belly Dance

“Ewww, Mom, that’s disgusting,” he said as he glimpsed a sliver of the wrinkly, stretched skin of my stomach. The moment had started sweetly. Miracle of miracles, the kids were ready to go to school early which of course, never happens. So my two youngest boys and I were enjoying a few minutes of snuggling…

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Hidden Truths

“So, what have you been up to lately?” she casually asked across the table strewn with half-drunk margaritas and now cold food. The dreaded question finally happened and an annoying ache clawed at my belly. Taking a deep breath, I came up with an answer that seemed appropriate to the evening and less shame-filled than…

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