Anniversaries Are Invitations

“Yes, Mrs. Bauman. Your husband called earlier and got you in with his appointment. We will see you in an hour.” My hand raises to my left cheek to comfort the ache as I smile, surprised I am not surprised by my husband’s provision for my tooth pain. Lately, I have been so frustrated with…

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It Never Came

You can’t say I didn’t try. I’m a fighter. I’m a good soldier. Everything in my life had prepared me for this. Growing up, fighting to shine bright enough to be seen by blind parents. Gritting my way through back pain and asthma as an athlete. Delivering four babies in four years, two of them…

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Forever Love

Forever love is a steady kind of change. That’s what I think as I peer over top of the forest in our backyard and see the sun rising in precisely the same way as a year ago—bright and joyous. Already, the leaves are bright shades of orange, cardinal, maroon, and goldenrod. With a series of…

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Revisiting

As she spoke of wedding plans, her eyebrows drew together, lines becoming visible on her young face. I watched the weight of exhaustion sweep over her, pulling her shoulders forward. She sighed. It is clear she is in love with her partner. He is absolutely smitten and she is equally adoring of him. I had…

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Love, Christmas, and a Pandemic

We rarely travel at Christmas time. The last time, in fact, was three years ago, pre-COVID. This year, our family of six will make two brief trips; one to spend time with family, and one to relax in the sun with dear friends. The pandemic took away our less-than-regular visits with family. We lost a…

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My Beloved

I met him on a “highly qualified” blind date. I was 22 years old and had heard his name hundreds of times. He was in town for a speaking engagement, and a mutual friend called me last minute to ask if I would go on the blind date. I nervously said yes. I spent the…

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Puzzled

We bought the first puzzle near the beginning of the pandemic. We have never been a game-playing family; we’ve been cordially busy with our own individual interests. Then we bought a jigsaw puzzle. We waited weeks to receive the first one because of a COVID puzzle shortage. Of course.

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Staying in Love and Hope

What does he see when he looks at me now? Does he even see me? A version of me, certainly But the real me?

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The Mystery of Marriage

Lovemaking is the sensual offer of goodness to our partner, but when we think of the word “lover,” it seems to immediately connote sex. What happens before and after sex often sets the parameters of what degree of pleasure will last after an orgasm. How little I understood the mystery of marriage during my first months of…

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Walking Towards a Wedding 

As the days ticked by until my wedding, morning twilight frequently found me sitting in pajamas with red spectacles and a messy bun, sipping from a large mug of coffee not quite large enough. October arrived, and my days kept starting earlier, often before sunrise as a random thought tied to the coming festivities stirred…

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