Mother of Laughter

On that day, Yahweh made a covenant with Abram. Pilgrims travel, not because they believe God lies ahead somewhere, but because they know God is beneath their feet. Or at least they’re suspicious of it. A pilgrim once told me, before she left the trees of Mamre, “Yahweh is in the flesh beneath your chest, which you…

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The Gift of Mum

I lost my birth mom the day I came into this world. We were in Northern India together and connected for just a few moments…and then…separated. I grieved the disruptive loss of a second (adoptive) mother the day I turned 18. Those are two significant days that hold life and newness which have been marked…

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One Letter at a Time

“Disconnected” is the word I would use to describe how I was feeling during 2020. As a grandmother of six grandchildren, I slowly began to realize that I was missing them. Connecting through social media felt too invasive, too quick, and too sterile, as my heart drifted away from them. I was experiencing the losses…

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Walking Towards a Wedding 

As the days ticked by until my wedding, morning twilight frequently found me sitting in pajamas with red spectacles and a messy bun, sipping from a large mug of coffee not quite large enough. October arrived, and my days kept starting earlier, often before sunrise as a random thought tied to the coming festivities stirred…

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The Gift of Sensitivity

As I awoke from surgery, I was keenly aware that I did not have the dreamy, light, euphoric feeling I had coming out of anesthesia ten years earlier. This was different. It felt more like a backhoe had gutted a hole in my core—gut and bowels included. Any movement at all would shift what felt…

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Raincoats and Ham Sandwiches

All the girls were wearing khaki-colored raincoats. I didn’t have one, so I began the beg-and-whine routine on my mom to get one. How could any decent teenage girl not expect to be a clone of every other girl in her clique? Mom either realized it was important for me to fit in with my…

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Mother, Helper, Warrior

As I meditate on Eve’s role in Scripture, I see that this woman was a real individual who lived in communion with God. I believe that God intends deep meaning in every bit of His word, even in the mention of the names of women I barely know, or about whom I have no details.…

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The Voice of God

Errreeeeooooo-errreeeeooooo-errreeeeoooooo-errreeeeooooo. I looked down after sitting attached to the human milking machine (if you know, you know) for 35 minutes only to see 1 ounce total compiled by my milk machines. After so much of my time and life connected to that damn pump, I was so over it. 

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Weakness and Waiting: A Better Story

In that moment, it seemed crystal-clear that God was answering my prayers in just the right way. An American friend emailed me in China, where our family of five had resided for twelve years, “Isn’t God’s timing perfect that He healed you of your migraines right before you adopt the two children He has for…

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The Mother

*This post is from a sexual abuse survivor; it may be triggering for some readers. This is my Red Tent truth, my Red Tent story. This is and was “The Mother” in my life. The person who birthed me, whose publicly portrayed image I adored, but whose private reality would horrorify any humane person. I…

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