cultivating the beautiful ordinary by sharing our tales and our tables
I held death in my arms once. In February 2008 the tiny body of my nephew, born 20 weeks early, was brought to me wrapped in a blanket in sister-in-law Deanna’s hospital room. In my womb a 20-week-old baby kicked. It felt like the hardest thing I would ever have to do, continue growing life…
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I hunched down in my uncomfortable bucket seat on Chicago’s commuter train heading to the suburbs. Unfortunately, I’d picked one of the few actually facing other passengers. Tears sliding down my face, I was embarrassed, so I tried to make myself even smaller, hiding in layers of winter clothing. A young woman next to me…
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It all looks the same. Fields split wide open, clusters of rusting cars and square houses bending with the weight of the earth. Buttes appear in the distance, but I can’t seem to get close. A hazy sky mutes the miles, and dry dust kicks up behind the tires of my Jeep Wrangler. Along stretches…
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“Catholic is the same as Christian, right mom?” I stopped spreading peanut butter on the bread for the girls’ sandwiches and looked up at Libby. “That’s an interesting question. What exactly are you asking?” I could have said a simple “yes” and let it go, but I wanted to know what was behind the question.
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In the 1960s charm bracelets were a trend, and teenage Mom had one full of charms. During a Thursday morning visit in December, she brought out a small silk pouch and handed it to me. She was in the dividing-up-her-jewelry stage of dying and wanted me to have her bracelet of stories, a reminder of…
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Several years ago I was inspired to write a short poem based on 1 Corinthians 13:13, which states that faith, hope, and love are the three most important virtues. I’ve always preferred short poems over epic poetry because a.) I’m a slow reader, and b.) I have a short attention span. But, give me a…
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Complex grief is the terminology I’d use to describe my 2023. That year I was in a bad car accident, my ovarian cysts caused me to bleed for three months, my mother was diagnosed with stage four cancer and passed away within six months, I was sexually assaulted at a spa, my two-year relationship ended,…
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Dormancy All winter long, we surveyed our brittle yard from towering windows, biting our nails, looking at one another furtively. Bald spots like patchy beard growth dotted the hills. “What is happening?” we wondered aloud. We hoped, we prayed for germination. Under the lodgepole and ponderosa pines, where my husband on his knees scraped the…
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I’ve learned to anticipate it as a spiritual director. It’s often one of the first comments a new client shares with me, sometimes hesitantly, holding a bit of shame as her voice lowers almost to a whisper. As if what she is about to say mustn’t be overheard, lest God strike her down right then…
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I don’t entertain New Year’s resolutions. It’s sort of a combination between my own refusal to think through a year’s worth of commitment and a divinely altruistic motive, knowing that I cannot possibly know the mind of God and what’s in store for me, having given up on my own agenda long ago. Thus, I…
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