Small Victories

There are several boundaries and battle grounds that my mind does not cooperate with on command as it once did!!  Information “plays hide and seek” in my brain, and is not controlled solely by my will – the result of a stroke in my brain. Some “pieces” are just gone, some occasionally re-appear, some are definitely…

Read More

Spared

Under fluorescent lights, my doctor gently massages my breast tissue as I lie on a metal cot. Two months ago, I started having pain in my breasts. I put it off, thinking it was due to holding plank postures in my new cardio-yoga routine. “But you need to get a mammogram,” my mother urged. “You…

Read More

My Monster

For many years, I believed the lie that the only way of coping with the parasitic fears and deep pain in my life was to bring injury to my body. I still remember the young teenage girl standing in front of a dressing room mirror, fighting back tears and thinking this was her only option.…

Read More

Foodie

I am a foodie—and, I’m very ambivalent about that. I both love and excoriate myself for that. My food war is facilitated by my having dissociative identity disorder (DID). If you’re unfamiliar, DID is a survival mechanism of the mind in the face of great trauma. Imagine, if you will, the natural conflicting opinions of…

Read More

Time Served

He died without ever paying his debt. Others in our family speak fondly of him even naming their children after him. I have a totally different memory of the man. I was always afraid of him. He was a big, gruff, crude, loud bully who shoved his weight around in every environment he was ever…

Read More

Fault Lines

I think each person has a fault line. A crack-line under the skin. Maybe you remember the day it appeared to you, and it became visible to others. Perhaps it shows itself after an unexpected event. Like a death. Or a diagnosis, for example. I observe your eyes glossing over when I try to explain…

Read More

Bombarded

I have been feeling bombarded. The news feed on my phone compounded with radio and television news shows have left me penned in with too much to bear. It’s weighed me down and made me hopeless and anxious.  The noise has caused me to feel anger, agitation and annoyance. It’s taken down the best part…

Read More

Shell Shocked

It has been three years since The Anchor House flooded during Hurricane Matthew. I’d forgotten that milestone until Facebook memories popped up with pictures on my iPhone screen. I scrolled through the images, staring at the soggy carpet and water-stained walls, while sipping coffee and packing Asha’s lunch. I could not believe it has been…

Read More

Raising A Priest: My Son And Choosing Faith

It’s Fall. I’ve been reluctant to completely close my bedroom window, clinging to the birds’ chirps, and cold gusts of air. The fresh air wakes me and I pause before getting out of bed. I often encounter resistance to opening my door in the morning, wondering what I have to offer my children who are…

Read More

Are We There Yet?

This past summer, Tyson and I spent a few weeks in Europe. We had sandwiches on the front lawn of Buckingham Palace. We napped underneath the Eiffel Tower while vendors tried to sell us overpriced champagne. We ate cannolis as we watched fellow American’s pay the overpriced rate to ride three minutes on a gondola,…

Read More