Breath of Life

“Take a deep breath and fill your belly with air, in through your nose and out through your mouth.” Ally gently guides us through a trauma-informed yoga practice. I notice the rubber mat beneath me and the earth holding me. I am gathered with eight women fighting to find goodness in our bodies, vessels that…

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The Wounded Healer

The wounded healer arrives on the scene not a moment too soon or too late. She is ready and anchored in the flow of love to lean into the other’s deep pain. She heals with her eyes, her heart, and her hands, using words of comfort and care. She knows how it feels to be…

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To Bleed and Break

Sometimes all I can see of my heart is red. Red for the bleeding, the breaking, the pain. Red for the sorrow, the wonder at the way I’m wired. It takes a lot to hold out my heart. To bleed for others, their hopes, their suffering, a relentless concern for those who repeatedly break me…

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A Summer Picnic

I grew up in a small town in Northern Wisconsin. My neighborhood was filled with tightly-spaced brick homes with mature trees flanking both sides of the street. These were the days when everyone knew everybody and children walked to and from school without care or risk. I loved the long summer days when everyone was…

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When Your Fear is What Heals You

When the world shut down and we all came home, I turned my red desk to face the window. It felt too vulnerable and a tad inappropriate to have so many eyes on my bed behind me. The door seemed an acceptable view for strangers on screens and so, the construction zone across the street…

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Kitchen Battles

I am crumpled up on my kitchen floor, head in hands, hiding beneath a soundtrack of Fernando Ortega and Bifrost Arts, hoping my kids don’t notice I am weeping, It’s holy ground, but it feels like falling apart.

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Designed to Touch

The pH (acidity) of our blood must be kept within a very narrow range (7.35-7.45) for life to remain viable. Anything outside of this causes our body stress and, sometimes, harm that isn’t reversible.   Panic attacks, diarrhea, dehydration, kidney malfunctions, and hundreds of other things can cause the body to become dysregulated. Our bodies are…

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Cracked

I think it probably started off broken.  I know it was over two days of a labor of love, constant pain and effort.  A little bit of drama and questioning of WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE SO HARD.  Ending with a cry of relief and fear.  If I could time travel, I think that’s…

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The Hem

I glanced down at my arms; the three slashes seeped blood. The large amount of aspirin I consumed thinned and accelerated its departure. I wanted to escape and run. Another locked psychiatric ward would be my fate. Only my physical screams could be heard, but these lashes were the deep wails of my internal world.…

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Bewildered

It was the week of my 23rd birthday, and I was haggard with exhaustion after months of little sleep and relentless flashbacks. Just four months before, I had been violently awakened in the middle of the night when six men invaded my home and held my roommates and me at gunpoint. I had begged these…

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