The Texture of Gratitude

On days when I’m reminded that life is a gift and not a right, gratitude feels strong and interwoven, like burlap. It holds all my hopes; hopes that are indelibly entwined with my battle with a chronic illness. Gratitude’s texture is thick and coarse, its fabric worn and heavy, having survived years of sweaty, hot…

Read More

Bethany’s Thanksgiving Playlist 2020

Fire dances across turquoise rocks while two young boys stare at orange flames. Tranquil breeze changes the direction of the fire and I watch as their curiosity turns from the fire to one another and they begin laughing while quoting lines. For a moment, gratitude fills my heart and I divert my eyes from their…

Read More

It’s a Fact of Life

Some days are hard, and I long for them to end. I just want tomorrow to come and start over. It’s a fact of life.   Some days are easy, and I hope they last. I want tomorrow to never come and today to stay. It’s a fact of life.

Read More

The God of Postpartum

I’m not entirely sure how I’m functioning right now. Four weeks ago I could barely carry on a cohesive conversation because my mouth literally could not make words based on what was happening in my brain. This morning I am sitting with a mug of lactation hot chocolate in hand, listening to the baby monitor…

Read More

Bloody Noses

Angst, religion,           the entire system.  Last week a friend adding something  challenge to that system.     My anger and rage;            God knows me by name.  Surges of words             rush  forth, and lips smack them back.

Read More

Craving Confidence: How Lonely It Sometimes Feels to be Certain

A little over a month ago, at a modest cabin near a gurgling creek, I spent a weekend with a mishmash of friends. It’s the second year we’ve gathered in this humble wonderland where we cook and play games, talk late around the fire, and make ourselves tired on sunshine and laughter.

Read More

Breath of Life

“Take a deep breath and fill your belly with air, in through your nose and out through your mouth.” Ally gently guides us through a trauma-informed yoga practice. I notice the rubber mat beneath me and the earth holding me. I am gathered with eight women fighting to find goodness in our bodies, vessels that…

Read More

The Haunting

Like much of America, we got a Coronatide puppy, long-legged and rambunctious. It is my job to walk him first thing in the morning so he doesn’t chew the table legs while I’m conference-calling. It’s a work-from-home season, and he doesn’t understand I have four more Zoom meetings to go.

Read More

A Civic Sacrament

The morning hints of a crisp fall day that we Southerners dream about during the dog days of summer—clear blue sky, a chill in the air, and tinges of color appearing on the tips of oaks and maples. This reality stokes the energy I already feel tingling beneath my skin as I sit behind the…

Read More

Bitter/Sweet

Almost every day my oldest daughter drinks a chocolate shake out of her green Paw Patrol bottle—one she loves for the dogs, not the characters. This shake is, of course, not just any chocolate shake. It’s packed full of various greens and nutrients, with a couple of vitamins crushed into it because I’m an opportunist.

Read More