To Withstand One’s Own Wrath

Entering the office today, before saying hello to anyone, addressing the day’s agenda, or even putting down my bag, I internally itemized a long list of things askew. Pillows awry in room 7. Table decor down in room 3. Side table off center in room 1.  Dirty plate and to-go box in kitchen. And in…

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The Story of Not Knowing

In early autumn, I board a plane with my daughter to tour my alma mater. We walk beneath the famous arch, down the path to the heart of campus. Flooded with memories, I try to focus on her and fail. Because it is here we camped out to claim rights to paint the rock. Here…

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I Follow Tears

I follow tears.  Glistening eyes, quivering lips, red rising on cheeks. Clues on a path to story. A big, black circle on the map to the heart. 

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When Your Fear is What Heals You

When the world shut down and we all came home, I turned my red desk to face the window. It felt too vulnerable and a tad inappropriate to have so many eyes on my bed behind me. The door seemed an acceptable view for strangers on screens and so, the construction zone across the street…

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When Shattering Births Life

I have shared pieces of this story before. The version where I am not the central character. The parts where I have yet to name the ways it sent me spiraling. How it upended my purposed life. It is the story I keep returning to. The one that becomes more clear as time passes.

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It Began With A Shooting Star

Encased in mummy bags borrowed from our host, we lay side-by-side beneath the stars. Nine teenagers, journeying across the U.S. to various Colorado camps, adventuring to the tutelage of a wanderlust trio: our chaperone and her twin girls. This trio enveloped us with their memories of this wild landscape, eager for us to experience epic…

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The Bothy

Back from an elongated, dreamy time of rest, colleagues want the highlight reel and the curious want the story.Typically, I’m challenged to distill epic into bullet points, but not this time. There is a story to tell even as it still works out meaning in my heart.

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Chasing Passion Among Sheep

It is approximately 1:00 am when the bus pulls into the service center and I file out behind the women wearing headscarves. I am a spectacle, to be sure. I pay to use the Turkish toilet, remembering the awkward squat this set up requires and one particular time on a ferry boat while 7 months…

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The Making of Self

I enter college a relatively new Christian, having come to faith in a para-church youth ministry deeply connected to a reformed church. I am a conservative evangelical by default. It’s all I know, therefore it is all that makes sense. That first year, upon visiting a campus Presbyterian church I feel discomfort that a woman…

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The Ministry of Proximity

I sit between two tables covered with butcher paper. On my left are my own girls, laughing and playing hangman with a family of 4. The kids are little and they are delightful; well-behaved and contentedly eating dinner. Their mom is shy and preoccupied, but their dad is friendly. He wants to talk. He just…

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