Having a choice

An older gentleman with a white beard and plaid button down shirt was standing at the entrance as I pulled into the parking lot that crisp January morning. He was yelling and waving pamphlets at me telling me to stop. As a young girl, I went with my Grandparents and held signs in protest while they screamed…

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Paradox At Play

Our present world seems opposed to “wonder,” set against the playfulness of fireflies, the mystery of light beams, the power of stardust burning high over our heads. I wonder how to move on with my life. I wonder how to plan for the unprecedented days ahead. How quickly pandemic and tumult and tragedy snuff out…

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An Ode to Baking

My two boys are playing LEGOs upstairs with their dad as I take a deep breath and inhale the cool air and quietness that permeates the downstairs. A question dances in my mind while my fingers delicately graze the spines of an ever-growing collection of cookbooks. What will I make tonight? I finally select the…

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The Cracks Are Showing

It was opening the gate that did it.  As the vinyl slats scraped across the cement sidewalk, like fingernails on a chalkboard, I felt the layers of irritation that had piled on over the past weeks expose a crack in my intentionally cheerful veneer.

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Birthing

My heart beat rapidly in my chest as I opened the email from our adoption coordinator. In just hours, I would be boarding a plane with my husband and two boys to fly to Haiti. The message included a picture of our daughter.  Baby Girl – Christine T. three months old, no birth weight, no…

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Shame and Secrecy: Gone

It was a Saturday like any other in San Antonio, Texas — a beautiful, blustery October morning in 2007, the perfect day for our family outing at the zoo — until I discovered a secret so painful, I nearly collapsed.  D-Day, I called it. Discovery Day. The day I discovered my husband was leading a…

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Leaning Into Unexpected Shifts

I ran into the grocery store before heading home to my kids, I had just returned on an overnight flight and was going to grab premade food for our dinner. I laughed when I saw my best friend in the produce section, but stopped when her stone face greeted me, “you don’t know, do you?…

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What Is Saving Your Life Right Now?

I’ve found myself repeating this question to the few people I interact with these days, from a safe distance of course (how odd that we now have to qualify that our interactions with actual humans are safe and socially distanced). This question was brought into my life a few years ago as I dove deeply…

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I am afraid

Last night, a writing prompt was given to a lovely group of sisters with whom I was virtually gathering.  For a moment or so, we were to write about fear. I didn’t know what I was afraid of, but I was soon to find out.  As a single woman, living alone, I live a life…

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