To My Elders

Four years ago, on a wintery morning, a fierce, truth-telling woman whom I cherish as my elder told me something I have never forgotten: “You can’t know where this story leads. All you can do is look at this moment and do the next right thing.” At the time, we were speaking of a romantic…

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Returning To My Rested Self

You would think apple picking is about the smell, but it’s not. At first, it’s about the feel. The air is always colder than you think out in the orchards. Even with a stocking cap pulled down past my ears and a cozy green flannel zipped up to my neck, a shiver occasionally runs the…

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More Often Than Not.

These days, more often than not, I get to the end of a day feeling like the day ran me, not the other way around. The digital clock on my phone clicks to 10:47 pm; I do a double take, and then I throw myself on my bed. Remaining moments tick away as I open…

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I Don’t Do Needy

I don’t do needy. Which means, I don’t do sick. I don’t do broken bones. And I don’t do hospitals. At least, I didn’t do those things until four months ago. In late March I was bustling around a friend’s kitchen, blending graham crackers and dumping crumbs; all to whip together a graham cracker crust.…

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Let The Party Happen

I still remember the knots that formed in my stomach as my 16th birthday approached. To me, it felt high stakes. I wanted to invite everyone—guys and girls, my crush and his friends, favorite teachers, friends in college and beyond it. I wanted to throw a party people showed up to. I wanted to be a…

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Preach it, Girl

The first time I heard a woman preach I was 17. Until then, I’d heard the “sharing of testimonies” by women in my church, but I’d never heard the proclamation of divine word uttered in a female voice.

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Fighting with God is Good Theology

You don’t become a theologian unless you are willing to wrestle with God. Or at least, you don’t become a very good one. Two years into seminary and I see the theologians who serve as my professors aren’t shutting down or containing my doubts; they’re blessing them.

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Confessions of a Relational Control Addict

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love. 1 John 4:18 When I left for college, I experienced a major friendship shift. The people who had known me during adolescence were replaced with a whole college campus…

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Christmas Courage

Out the window, tiny flakes hang suspended in the air before rushing to the earth with a strong gust of wind. I watch the process repeat over and over again, my heartbeat getting caught up in the swirling rhythm outside.

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In the right now ordinary.

“I think those women are checking you out again,” Jeremy had a wry grin on his face, refusing to let me off the hook for how “CUTE!” the women at the bar had insisted I looked tonight. “Well you know, I AM rather fetching…” I said it with a hair toss, not to be out…

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