cultivating the beautiful ordinary by sharing our tales and our tables
“I don’t think you’ve ever experienced a good ending,” my therapist said, as we once again discussed ending our work together. As usual, I had become weepy at the mere suggestion that it was time. A good ending? What was that? How was it even possible? He kindly assured me that we could explore my…
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“Did you see Tos’s FB post? So sad.” I looked down at my phone on the kitchen counter, my hands covered in marinating sauce for tonight’s dinner. We were hosting friends from out of town and in deep conversation, catching up while cooking together. I wouldn’t look at the Facebook post until well after midnight when I crawled into bed. My…
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Hope makes itself every day Springs up from the tiniest places No one gives it to us We just notice it Quiet in the small moment– Naomi Shihab Nye Most winters my husband and I travel south to capture some sunshine and warmth. We go to rejuvenate, to restore faith that the darkness of our…
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As I walk into the closet, I gently pull the black, v-neck, three-quarter-length sleeve, knee-length dress off the wooden hanger. I force myself to stop and take a deep breath. I know this routine far too well, for it is ingrained in my being. This past year in particular I have taken part in this…
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Their departure is imminent. After a stay of seven weeks, my daughter and our two granddaughters are about to depart. Jeff began driving their car to California the day before. Amanda and the girls will fly home so that Grace can begin second grade on the first day of school. The pending ferry ride to Seattle weighs…
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Decades ago, I went grocery shopping after the funeral of a dear friend who had died much too young and way too swiftly. His tragic death left one of my closest friends without a partner and their young children without a father. Arriving home after the funeral, I was anxious, emotionally untethered, and in need…
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I have one more year left in my twenties. Some might say I’m a young spring chicken with barely any life under my belt (but we don’t wear belts anymore, thank you, high-waisted jeans!). That’s not untrue. I am pretty young in the grand scheme of things, but as I consider the seasons that have…
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Someone recently asked me, “How do I even know if I believe in God? What about God is worthy of believing?” Little did I know that the journey I would take the next few weeks would entail loss, and grief, and confusion. Little did I know that amidst that loss and grief and confusion I…
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“What you have loved you can never lose.” – Helen Keller About a week before my sister passed away, I was dancing with her in her kitchen in a dim light. I asked her to focus on her breath as I focused on mine. Together we danced as the spirit filled and danced between us.…
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I finger the three separate baggies in my hand. They contain the remains of my father (age 95; died February 16, 2019), my mother (age 96; died July 22, 2020), and my youngest brother, John (age 64; died February 19, 2022). My two older sisters and I gather on the Oregon coast to celebrate the…
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