Please God.

No baby has blessed my womb Disgrace my lot, disgrace my doom Never feeling the growing inside I said I was OK with it.  I lied. Never feeling touch, skin to skin No offspring from me, no next of kin Never seeing eyes open in wonder No baby, my heart asunder Never hearing cries in…

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Advent’s War With Despair. Jesus Incarnate In The Hopelessness.

“Why do you say you have no one?” Stare. “What makes you feel no one understands?” Stare. “Can you make a box in your mind and fit the stories inside?” Stare. Blank. I stared. Thoughts echoed inside but I didn’t dare say them out-loud.

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My Monster

For many years, I believed the lie that the only way of coping with the parasitic fears and deep pain in my life was to bring injury to my body. I still remember the young teenage girl standing in front of a dressing room mirror, fighting back tears and thinking this was her only option.…

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The Story Behind The Surface

I have a pharmacy on my nightstand. Every night, I pop a number of vitamins from four different containers. Water, vitamins, water, vitamins, water. Then there’s the orange pill bottle. It’s not a multivitamin and I can’t get it over the counter. Out of all the pills, this is the one I’ve taken the longest,…

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Hidden Truths

“So, what have you been up to lately?” she casually asked across the table strewn with half-drunk margaritas and now cold food. The dreaded question finally happened and an annoying ache clawed at my belly. Taking a deep breath, I came up with an answer that seemed appropriate to the evening and less shame-filled than…

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Dear Depression

“I grew more depressed. And also I grew a muffin top.” –Jamie Wright from The Very Worst Missionary   Dear Depression, We’ve known each other for quite some time now. The first time I met you I never got your name. You extended a hand like you were some kind of savior, arrived to shield…

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The Land of the Living

The boulder in my yard was rather large, covered in ferns and lichens. It rested beneath a mango tree, residing in my periphery as I toiled over hand washing clothes and pinning them up to dry in the sunlight. It perched just shy of a conversation amidst the brush, iguanas, and wildflowers, holding its breath…

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Blue

The blue of a day like this sits and hovers over me; my emotions intense, my conflicts stirring, my mind racing with solutions to make the blue disappear. I would say today is a light blue, like humidity. No raincoat or umbrella can make humidity disappear.

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A Story About Death and Resurrection

You came, I knew that you would come You sang, my heart it woke up I’m not afraid, I see your face, I am alive –Jonathan David and Melissa Helser    Are you done yet? I hurled the accusation at the sky. What more do you want? How much more can I take?

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Almost Ending

I have never played football, but if I was to guess, I held the position of a tackling linebacker as I ran shoulder first from one end of our hallway into the spare bedroom door. 

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