Everyone envisions a family. For some it is a picket fence, three kids, and a collie. My vision was a rowdy tribe, living one wild adventure after another.
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All articles filed in Infertility
To All the Babies I’ve Loved
Dear Baby, I only knew you existed for 48 hours. While our time together was brief, your impact was not. You proved my heart could expand to love someone I never met. You proved I was ready for motherhood. I never heard your beating heart, but you changed mine forever. Love, Mama
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Childless
My tears remained hidden behind a set of cheap sunglasses as I strolled through Target, passing newborn moms relieved to be out of the house. Equipped with Ergos, bottles, and pacifiers, they strolled precious, wide-eyed babies in bright red grocery carts secured with cushioned cart covers. Several of my friends had recently announced they were…
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(Un)Barren
Barren was the name given me at birth (Named after Hannah in the Bible) And by the fertility doctors (Unexplained causes) So many voices (Where is mine?)
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On Cows and Childbearing
My husband is a rancher, and we met later in life after I’d had my own children. Being a ranch wife has yielded insights I never expected. One of the stark realizations of my status as a human female has been through the observation of cows. Cows on a ranch have an economic value based…
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Thawing Love
By March, the worst of the winter would be over. The snow would thaw, the rivers begin to run and the world would wake itself again. -Neil Gaiman I feel a piercing pain in my chest as I talk with my friend Libby about the inevitability of weaning my daughter Charlotte. My body begins to…
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Narrative in the Seasons
I have always viewed each passing season in my life as chapters in my ever changing, ever growing “Book of Me.” Each chapter tells stories of joy, pain, loss, curiosity and progress. Some of these chapters are filled with angst and ennui, some chapters are full of new found passions, others speak of various heartbreak…
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Hidden Truths
“So, what have you been up to lately?” she casually asked across the table strewn with half-drunk margaritas and now cold food. The dreaded question finally happened and an annoying ache clawed at my belly. Taking a deep breath, I came up with an answer that seemed appropriate to the evening and less shame-filled than…
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Creole Prayers
My friend Bonnie called shortly after returning from Haiti, following the January 2010 earthquake that hit just south of Port-au-Prince, leaving an estimated 230,000 dead. “I have to go back,“ said this tenacious woman with a deep heart.
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Ironic
Alanis Morissette said it best in February 1996 in her song Ironic, “An old man turned ninety-eight, He won the lottery and died the next day, It’s like a black fly in your chardonnay, It’s a death row pardon two minutes too late, Isn’t it ironic, don’t you think.”
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