Watching and Waiting

I remember using a black felt tip marker, writing the words, “baby due” and circling March 9th on the calendar that lay by the phone on our kitchen counter. There is nothing quite like the first time you see those two pink lines.

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When I Can’t Feel Christmas

“Above all, trust in the slow work of God.” — Pierre Teilhard de Chardin 5:34 p.m. on Black Friday and everything was right on schedule. The tree was set up, lights lit, and boxes of ornaments ready for unpacking. Jim Carrey’s How the Grinch Stole Christmas played in the background, as was tradition, and Mom had just slid the…

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Expectant

“If Christmas is for the joy, then Advent is for the longing.” – Sarah Bessey Only two minutes into the first song of the concert, and I feel my tears building. “Uh-oh,” I think, as the lyrics rouse my slumbering heart and provoke an ache in my chest.

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Bone-Deep Weary

“Rest doesn’t improve restlessness because you’re not tired, you’re weary.” – Jody McPhearson   It’s the Monday after Thanksgiving and I’m back to the grind at work. I just had 6 days off from work and…I’m uneasy. Exhausted. Simultaneously bored and overwhelmed and my motivation is waning. There’s less room in my chest for my lungs…

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Home

A Voxer notification appeared from my friend Mike: Hi Rachel, I’ve been thinking about you and wondering what you would think of spending a half a day or a whole day on a silent retreat away from social media and family and friends. We would be happy to help with your kids to make this…

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Returning

My life took an abrupt turn on July 8, 2011, when my friend Jim had a seizure and was diagnosed with a very aggressive brain cancer. After surgery, he moved into my home, and I cared for him until he died nine months later.

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Christmas Courage

Out the window, tiny flakes hang suspended in the air before rushing to the earth with a strong gust of wind. I watch the process repeat over and over again, my heartbeat getting caught up in the swirling rhythm outside.

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Waiting For Him In The Thin Places

Once a year my body succumbs to illness. I shouldn’t complain; I have a strong immune system. I am grateful. But the timing is always off.

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