Comfort Zone of Grace

The first time I heard the words ”comfort zone”  was in my Sunday school class back in the late 1970’s. It was presented to me in the context that if I was living in that zone I was most likely not risking for Jesus. I remember feeling uncomfortable and vulnerable just sitting there as those…

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What Was Then Is Now

“According to the CDC 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 6 boys will experience sexual assault.” Senator Diane Feinstein spoke those words at the opening of the #KavanaughHearing before Dr. Christine Blasey Ford’s testimony. I was listening, along with my 12 year old, as we drove towards San Antonio for her orthodontic appointment. I…

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The Tweens You Don’t Hear About

I was called a tween this week: the in-between years of parenting your own kids while taking care of your own parents. It sucks every bit as much as middle school. The night before, we received a phone call at 2am. It was not the first time. My mother-in-law woke disoriented, fearful of the man…

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A Wealth of Years

“Don’t trust anyone over 30.”–Jack Weinberg, 1964 “I hope I die before I get old.”–The Who, 1965 It was my generation, I suppose, that began this trend—the glorification of youth, the disdain of old age. Our fathers risked their lives in World War II, but we had no time for their stories, for their work…

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You Are Welcome

Hospitality: The friendly and generous reception of guests. I have a love/hate relationship with hospitality. It feels formal with the connotation of performance and I feel unnatural and fake. When I first had children, hospitality was a strange cocktail. I really did want friends in my life. But I also felt pressure to have the…

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Familiar

This season feels familiar. I find myself repeating these words often. When this happens, I have learned to take notice. It is the start of a new school year. The four children who live at home range in age from 15-10. These are my (not so) littles who are now the ages of the “bigs”…

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A Voice Stolen

Dear Younger Self, I’m sitting in my living room with a deeply affectionate boy in my arms and another sweet boy growing safe inside my body. I can’t help but be curious about who you were so long ago. Were you anything like this stubborn, imaginative two-year old who is now leaping off the couch…

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Washed in Wisdom

Where had the summer gone? Faced with so many responsibilities, I walked to the edge of the shore and curled the sand back with my toes. On the surface of the water, I watched my reflection converge with my shadow on the sand. I’m sure I looked silly, standing there watching the kids play, attempting…

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Stretch Marks

Chris caught the flu near the beginning of my second trimester with Asha. At the time our home was under construction in an attempt to restore decades of mold and wood rot that we unknowingly inherited. Our first house, once a hopeful purchase, had turned into a homeowner’s nightmare, and we could not wait to…

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Relative Age

Dusk was falling on another Saturday night in the Chicago suburbs. My siblings and I, all under the age of ten, had been entertaining ourselves during a long, lazy day at home. It was just before dinner and we’d pulled a gigantic floor pillow in front of the couch, jumping like acrobats from the couch…

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