Room to Recover

I wake today with painful awareness that I have holes scarring my abdomen where I did not have them previously. My very infected gallbladder was removed and I’m lying in a hospital bed hopped up on morphine with a drain in my side.

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My People

In 1998, we moved from San Antonio to Portland. Katy was heading into 3rd grade, Allison was starting kindergarten, and Steve was ready for pre-school. We experienced culture shock as we settled into our home in early September. The days quickly grew shorter and clouds and rain replaced sunny blue skies.

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Live the Questions

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue.” – Rainer Maria Rilke A few weeks ago, as I drove my son to camp, he asked, “Mommy, how much did I cost?”…

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Searching For Home

Nearly 70 years ago, my grandparents boarded a ship, crossed the Pacific Ocean and came to a new and wonderful place called Dallas, Texas. They were some of the first Chinese to be in the city. As believers and well-educated, they had by the hand of God escaped persecution. It was in a day and…

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Growing Wild

Chris and I began our summer with a move across the country, relocating our family from Eastern North Carolina to Colorado. Chris and his dad drove the U-Haul, packed with all our belongings and our two dogs. Asha and I traveled by air, with the help of Chris’s mom, sister, and cousin. After enduring disruptive…

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Steel Faith

I couldn’t wait to get to church that Sunday. For some reason, I knew that worship was going to be incredible. Traveling on a familiar freeway, I belted out songs that were my favorite. I felt comforted by the empty stretch of highway, pondering what I might encounter in service that morning. The rains had…

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I Don’t Do Needy

I don’t do needy. Which means, I don’t do sick. I don’t do broken bones. And I don’t do hospitals. At least, I didn’t do those things until four months ago. In late March I was bustling around a friend’s kitchen, blending graham crackers and dumping crumbs; all to whip together a graham cracker crust.…

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No Labels at Our Table

Released into the sunshine to work in pairs, we were grateful to leave the small confines of the conference room that held 10 therapists for an Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprossessing (EMDR) training. Our exercise was to identify a lie we believed and think of resources that could be internalized to counteract that as part…

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The Story Behind The Surface

I have a pharmacy on my nightstand. Every night, I pop a number of vitamins from four different containers. Water, vitamins, water, vitamins, water. Then there’s the orange pill bottle. It’s not a multivitamin and I can’t get it over the counter. Out of all the pills, this is the one I’ve taken the longest,…

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Here is My Body, Take and Eat

Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palm of my hands. –Isa. 49:15-16 My iPhone alarm triggers a surge of cortisol through my weary body. The blue light flashes 2:30AM. I feel empty and anxious as…

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