It’s 2 a.m.

It’s 2 a.m. The limbs of the trees outside my window are moving in the wind; the sound of the leaves rustling a bit is agitating. I can’t stop my thoughts, one after another, all in a similar vein, and none of them productive.  “Did I have caffeine after 2 p.m.?” “Are these hot flashes…

Read More

Counting Steps on the Cliff

The sun dances across my lap. The old Honda’s engine revs and releases around the curves of Lake Crescent. Turquoise waters on my right shimmer clearly against the evergreens next to its shore. I count the logs cast aside into the lake’s bottomless waters. Just past the upcoming campground we will take a hard right…

Read More

Lavish Affection

I don’t remember the exact moment I decided to stop regularly reading the Bible. Ironically, I think it was around the time I finished a “read the Bible in a year” plan, faithfully executed out of a sense of duty. This time through, something shifted for me, and I began to realize that scripture was…

Read More

I Know the Type

I thought I knew her type.  It was the second time I had seen her come to church but the first time we ever interacted. She was a bit older, sort of mousy, and she walked up to me with a red baseball hat tucked under one arm and a John MacArthur Study Bible under…

Read More

Personified

She speaks with tempered wit and out drips tender care from lips that brim with wonder and awe. She walks in patience like the dawn, neither fast nor slow. A rising glow that with time shows all things Both true and clear. She beholds what no one knows, A thought too bold to keep untold,…

Read More

Building a Marriage

I was a mere 23 years old, and my wonderful future lay ahead of me as I prepared to marry the man of my dreams. He was a naval flight officer—responsible, smart, steady, driven—and a leader who pursued all the golden ideals I desired to build my exemplary life. Unaware at the time, I wanted…

Read More

The Wisest Woman I Know

2021 had one job.  And it was to not be 2020. In retrospect, I don’t know how we could have anticipated a different outcome. I will own my own sense of eternal optimism, or at least belief in my own grit. So here we are. 2021 squeezing me to the point of emotional and spiritual…

Read More

Toss and Turn

It’s 3 a.m., and I’m wide awake, tossing and turning like it’s my own signature dance move, all to the tune of grief and fear. Back and forth I spin on the deep gray sheets that prove there is no thread count that can stop my midnight moves. That tune is just too loud.  The…

Read More

Wisdom of the Collective Mother

These past 18 months have been hard. Hard on a personal level, hard on a professional level, and hard on a collective level. The pandemic has disconnected so many of us from the embodied wisdom of community, friendships, and relationships. We have needed to be physically removed for safety, but also we have been separated…

Read More

Unexpected Relief

The long trek from the maternity ward to the NICU requires a wheelchair and a hospital transporter. Michael has just left for a few hours to check on our two- and four-year-old daughters, who are at home and can’t meet their baby sister. I feel the shift as we roll from a floor of lactation…

Read More