cultivating the beautiful ordinary by sharing our tales and our tables
When I began writing about losing Mom last August, I knew July was waiting on the other side. I knew that at the end of this journey I would be practicing gratitude, thankful for the gift of this year. There was an inner knowing, a need to sort out the words and feelings surrounding my…
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In September 2022, a year-and-a-half after Mom’s death, I stood in the basement that housed my business, Heart Path Story Coaching, from its opening in April 2019 until now. It is where Mom confessed she should have never made me president of the family. It is where I met with my earliest clients and art…
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The funeral home came to remove Mom’s body a few hours after death. As they wheeled her out, maneuvering through the dining room, I leaned down and kissed her cheek. “Goodbye, Mom,” I whispered. I also thought, “If you sit up right now and say, ‘Just kidding!’ I will yell and say, ‘Just leave already!’” …
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I held death in my arms once. In February 2008 the tiny body of my nephew, born 20 weeks early, was brought to me wrapped in a blanket in sister-in-law Deanna’s hospital room. In my womb a 20-week-old baby kicked. It felt like the hardest thing I would ever have to do, continue growing life…
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In the 1960s charm bracelets were a trend, and teenage Mom had one full of charms. During a Thursday morning visit in December, she brought out a small silk pouch and handed it to me. She was in the dividing-up-her-jewelry stage of dying and wanted me to have her bracelet of stories, a reminder of…
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Losing Mom brought change on a daily, weekly, monthly basis. There was a change in her eating habits, medication dosing, daily routines. There was a change in her sleep cycles, energy cycles, and tolerance for company. There was a change in her physical ability, emotional capacity, and mental acumen. This was difficult to face, let…
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It’s mid-August 2020, the third week following Mom’s life-changing scan. This journey into the unknown, a terminal cancer diagnosis, is still new. Two of my sisters return from Ohio for a second visit. They will make many more eight-hour drives over the next weeks and months, together and separately. Across town, I try to establish…
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I returned to the Red Tent this year with the intention of engaging its themes through the lens of losing Mom, feeling confident in my decision. Approaching this fifth post, my mind is filled with questions and doubts, threatening to derail the intention that began this process. Is this really a good idea? Am I…
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One day, when I was three or four years old, Mom and I went to visit Dad during his lunch break. As we sat with him on the steps outside, his colleague offered me a piece of cheese. I took the cheese, put it in my mouth, and told Mom that I had to go…
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The beginning of Mom’s cancer journey turned my world upside down. The weekend after her abnormal scan brought all of the siblings together, several from out of town. Every weekend following felt like a holiday in those early days, when hopes were high that the right smoothie, sauna, or supplement would change the game and…
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