All Parts Welcome

“I can see it’s difficult for you to take a deep breath,” said my massage therapist as I attune to the calming scent of the lavender essential oil diffusing from her office. I notice my shallow breathing and the tenuous task of attempting to breathe through my diaphragm. My nervous system stays on guard, scanning…

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New Horizons

I once knew a girl who was free. She wasn’t weighed down by worry or shame, and she got lost in adventures led by her fearless feet. Occasional scrapes and snags were part of the passion. Mending her wings seemed to require just a little rest, and then she’d fly off again. I long for…

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Moving On While Standing Still

Everyone prepares you for the feelings that accompany your child’s first birthday, but no one prepares you for the emotional tidal wave that hits on their second. Or at least no one warned me. My daughter turned two on Friday, and amidst the celebrations and fanfare, I found myself in tears nearly every day leading…

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Where Would We Be?

While prepping ingredients for dinner on a Monday evening, I opened up a dialogue with one of my boys who was making his way through the kitchen. Holding the significance of the day, I asked if they did anything at school in honor of 9/11. His response, not really.  “Did you have a moment of…

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Leaning In

As the bow of our raft started to plummet into a Class 4 rapid on the Arkansas River, my pulse quickened and my adrenaline shot up as I heard my guide shout, “Paddle forward! Don’t stop!” My best friend and I were seated at the bow, in charge of setting the pace for the four…

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Strangely Golden Days

The beginning of Mom’s cancer journey turned my world upside down. The weekend after her abnormal scan brought all of the siblings together, several from out of town. Every weekend following felt like a holiday in those early days, when hopes were high that the right smoothie, sauna, or supplement would change the game and…

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Renaming Myself

It took some time before I uttered the words. It was much like new lovers who hesitate to speak a risky “I love you.” It was a courageous declaration. A couple of years after I’d begun to write for public consumption, I had to submit an updated “bio” for an introduction. After reviewing my extracts,…

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Persistent Friendship

My best friend, Jim, was the most predictable person I had ever known. I called him “The Man With a Plan” because he approached every day and every situation as though he knew what to expect. I marveled at his ability to stay calm and deal with whatever came along.

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On Belonging Somewhere

Sunning ourselves on the terrace in the pale Norwegian sun, I watched my daughter and son-in-law relax, knowing their daughter was asleep. On maternity leave and paternity leave simultaneously, they have been able to be much more attentive to her than their own parents were to them. They are both Third Culture Kids (TCKs), born…

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Never Say Never

Should I stay or should I go? Here’s an interesting thing: Just when I was accepting what I thought my clear understanding was, based on experience—that I could never, never, ever go back—there was a shift of awareness that this time, in this place, for so many reasons, it was time to turn around and…

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