Keeping Watch

“I don’t want to die,” I say with a mix of terror and fortitude, my voice quivering as I look into my counselor’s kind eyes. I am processing a consultation with a urogynecologist over a proposed reconstructive surgery intended to repair my prolapsed bladder and remove my uterus, the space that has nourished and held…

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Sweet Surrender

“Are you done yet?” my body asked me. “No,” I said. And I would continue to say no for the next 52 hours. My first baby, a daughter named Harbor, was born October 10, 2017, at 5:27 p.m. She was born amid oxygen masks, frantic monitors, IVs, doctors, nurses, midwives, a disappearing heartbeat, and a…

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