What I Didn’t Expect When I Was Expecting

“It is hard for you, little one,” said Aslan. “But things never happen the same way twice.” —Aslan, the Lion, to Lucy, the child, Prince Caspian, C. S. Lewis   Things never happen the same way twice, dear one. I am a thirty-one year-old woman (Jessie), I have been married to my husband (Mikey) for almost…

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Flooded

In September I began the Certificate Program at the Allender Center, and I took with me one overstuffed suitcase, one tender story, and one eager heart. I quickly discovered that my time in Seattle would include joy and sorrow, frustration and fear, barriers and breakthrough, isolation and community. At times it has felt like the…

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Picking Up Stones

If you ever find a picture of me from my senior year in high school, you will not find the traditional hallmarks of 1990’s grunge. Rather, you will find a tie-dye wearing, sandaled, all-natural kind of gal who was clearly reacting to the world around her. My backpack was littered with greatest hits discs of…

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Foolish Resurrection

Lent is for lovers. “Lent is a time for discipline, for confession, for honesty, not because God is mean or fault- finding or finger-pointing but because he wants us to know the joy of being cleaned out, ready for all the good things he now has in store.” ― N.T. Wright 2018. The year Valentine’s…

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Fraud

I think I’m a fraud. I did the correct things in the right order. I read the guidelines thrice. I edited my word count and submitted in the appropriate format. I slowly wound my way through the bureaucracy of writing, posting, submitting, designing. I built trust and loved on the few who were called to…

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The Strange Side of Compassion

“So, how did it actually feel to have dinner with a serial killer?” my colleague at the law firm asked. Shuffling depositions between color tabbed manila folders, I quickly changed the topic to billable hours for a client. I’d avoided this topic for so many years. Even when an author asked permission to use the…

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Shower Revelations

My hands pressed against the shower tiles while sobs erupted violently from my core. This is not what this was supposed to look like. Giving birth to a baby and increasing our family to four should feel marvelous and wonderful. I shouldn’t be hiding in the shower, cringing from everyone’s touch. The irony of this…

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Blameless

“Is everything okay?” my voice quivered as I watched the ultrasound tech repeatedly zoom-in and zoom-out, measuring and re-measuring my baby’s developing body. It was taking longer than normal. “The doctor will examine your results and come in to speak with you,” the tech replied.   Over an hour later, I sat on a metal…

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Ezers

I could not believe what I was hearing! The women I was talking with were telling me what many pastors in Eastern Europe teach from their pulpits.  They said, “It is not uncommon for Christian women to be subjected to domestic violence because of church teachings!” What? These were trusted friends who had traveled throughout Asia,…

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