Let’s Go

I’ve grown accustomed to the feeling that something awful will happen to my husband and daughter at a young age. Every once in a while, it hits me that something could happen—an illness or injury that takes them from me all too soon. Recently, however, I’ve felt a relatively new fear: that illness or injury…

Read More

In Celebration of Grief

We have had a terrible dry winter and spring in the southwestern desert. Day after day has dawned with clear skies and a relentless sun. The land has grown parched. The pine trees in our yard have turned brown, and the threat of fire looms across the mountains above our town. It has become a…

Read More

Reluctant Love

The Habitrail stretched across most of my dresser. Hairy the hamster was housed in the plastic castle complete with tunneling tubes and a giant wheel he could run on incessantly. I would sit on the floor of my room and let him run around, always careful not to lose him under the bed or behind…

Read More

Looking for a Resurrection

I walk past the bike rack and into the familiar place with different eyes today. I push through the first set of wide metal doors into the entryway, past the water fountain and the “park scooters here” sign.

Read More

Forever unfolding.

“I’ve decided God is about the things that come really easy or really, REALLY hard. Everything else is just me believing if I give the right amount of effort, I’ll get the result I want. Life is a lot of me pretending I have my act together.”

Read More

Last Words

“I’m going to get off the phone now.” “Mom, tell me you love me.” “I love you honey.” “OK mom, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” “OK, goodbye.”

Read More

Knitting Through Grief to Gratitude

Last year, my friend Ted died from esophageal cancer. He was my seventh friend to die in seven years, and I was bereft.

Read More

Hope in the Gap

For most of my children’s lives Easter included the excitement of dying and hunting eggs and candy brought in the middle of the night by the Easter bunny.

Read More

Just the Beginning

“Bean, I’ve made it home!” I felt my dad’s spirit speaking to me through the pitch black night. As I stood alone with this new truth and my sister’s words “dad’s dead” summersaulting in my head, I turned my gaze up toward heaven.

Read More

How Great Thou Art

It was almost April and one news station reported that our city had had a mere forty hours of sunlight since October! It had been the darkest five months of my life.

Read More