What does it mean, now, for me to show up? Is it me, my body, clean, clothed, and correct, a physical form occupying space? Saying yes, smiling, sorting through small talk while inside my heart races?
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All articles filed in Church pain
The Foolish Tortoise
“You never know what may cause them…But of this you can be sure. Whenever you find tears in your eyes, especially unexpected tears, it is well to pay the closest attention. They are not only telling you something about the secret of who you are, but more often than not God is speaking to you through them…
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The Courage of Mending
I remember my grandma‘s white lace curtains hanging over the windows in her bedroom. I would stare at them with tear-stained eyes as I sat on her bed, telling her of my sorrows and loss. It didn’t matter if I was 8 or 38 years old; she would listen compassionately and then touch my shoulder…
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The Aftermath
We were newlyweds, in our first apartment, performing the dreaded church-shopping. We visited nearby churches, each one similar to the ones I attended as a child. Pews, pianos, choirs. They were sparsely attended, and though it was obvious we were visitors, very few people greeted us. So we moved on. I had heard of a…
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None of All
“It’s not rebels that make trouble, but trouble that makes rebels.” – Ruth Messinger The air is cool and damp, dewy droplets visible on the grass. Sipping my coffee, I try to distinguish how many different birds I can hear…at least four accompanied by some morning crickets. It’s just cool enough that I grab the…
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Yellow Journal
I pick up my bright yellow journal with a soft moleskin cover from the coffee table as I sit down for some morning quiet. This book feels more special right now as I notice there are few empty pages and it is nearing its end. It holds bits of my life’s journey the last six…
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Flooded
In September I began the Certificate Program at the Allender Center, and I took with me one overstuffed suitcase, one tender story, and one eager heart. I quickly discovered that my time in Seattle would include joy and sorrow, frustration and fear, barriers and breakthrough, isolation and community. At times it has felt like the…
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