cultivating the beautiful ordinary by sharing our tales and our tables
The funeral home came to remove Mom’s body a few hours after death. As they wheeled her out, maneuvering through the dining room, I leaned down and kissed her cheek. “Goodbye, Mom,” I whispered. I also thought, “If you sit up right now and say, ‘Just kidding!’ I will yell and say, ‘Just leave already!’” …
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Losing Mom brought change on a daily, weekly, monthly basis. There was a change in her eating habits, medication dosing, daily routines. There was a change in her sleep cycles, energy cycles, and tolerance for company. There was a change in her physical ability, emotional capacity, and mental acumen. This was difficult to face, let…
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It’s mid-August 2020, the third week following Mom’s life-changing scan. This journey into the unknown, a terminal cancer diagnosis, is still new. Two of my sisters return from Ohio for a second visit. They will make many more eight-hour drives over the next weeks and months, together and separately. Across town, I try to establish…
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The beginning of Mom’s cancer journey turned my world upside down. The weekend after her abnormal scan brought all of the siblings together, several from out of town. Every weekend following felt like a holiday in those early days, when hopes were high that the right smoothie, sauna, or supplement would change the game and…
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Goodbye begins July 27, 2020, with a text. The doctor just called with the scan results, and it’s not good. Can you come over? My brand-new 14-year-old is in the middle of blowing out twisty rainbow candles on an ice cream birthday cake. It is homemade by a sister and looks delicious. We finish singing…
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The kitchen clock breaks the silence of the early morning as I wait for the Keurig drip to complete its work, reminding me that the demands of the day have begun. Coffee and quiet reflection, reading, solace and contemplation must fit neatly into increments metered out by the demands of the day. Numbers soldier their…
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I used to think that being “death ready” meant making sure the dishes were cleaned and put away, making my bed and taking the trash out before I went away on vacation.
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