“Your destiny is never tied to anyone that left you.” — Thomas D. Jakes
Your destiny is important, though sometimes people can’t see it, so they overshadow you with their own ambition. They place you last. They never listen. Your ideas are only valuable as long as they benefit. Often deemed charming narcissistic personality types, they eventually tire of you, so they drop you, block you, and outright dismiss you as though you never existed.
This happened to me in a healing place called “God’s house.” As a result, I started to question Christianity, my faith, and my place in the church. How could I serve in a ministry when I was given the “side-eye” by everyone, minus the few who actually got me? Ministry isn’t supposed to be mean.
Hear me: when they drop you, it is not your fault. Over time, I have learned this truth. While they sought to derail me, the removal of them from my life ensured that the call on it would not be contaminated by their character—or lack thereof.
I know all too well—you are left, holding the proverbial bag and the broom, to clean up the chards of your heart. Where do you go when you know the truth, but no one hears you? INWARD. Don’t suppress your hurt or stick it in an emotional filing cabinet to deal with later because “you’re just too busy,” or “you don’t want to think about it.” That’s how wounds fester, not heal.
Sitting in training for my last class, a light flickered…. it cast a shadow onto the desk and an image appeared. It was water, rippling over a mirror. I realized that I couldn’t “positive think” or chant my way out of my feelings of rejection or abandonment. That was simply placing a bandaid on a broken place that really required surgery.
If you have filed your hurt under “later,” then maybe this is the time to get the folder back out. In a space of healing, fully present with each emotion, you can begin to see your way through the process. It can be daunting. You may prefer to manage your emotions, to make a concerted effort not to be controlled by them, but that doesn’t mean you deny that they exist. Instead, you have to release the need to control how they come up. Much like the athlete who chooses to endure the pain—not numb it— you must allow emotions to surface.
Healing is possible. It starts with a deep desire to live to your fullest potential and to see your destiny fully expressed.
In the end, it isn’t about the people who didn’t believe in you or who rejected you; it is about the opportunity you’ve been given—to show up for yourself, to do your own interior work, to make your own choices, and to take that first step forward. It starts with you. What you choose today will drive all of your tomorrows.
I chose to go back to school to study human behavior under this fancy title called “psychology.” I was placed on two different tracks and truly it kicked my butt. That is what started a massive course correction for NATASHA. Self love is the best love. What do you do when you make a choice that is finally for you, but not about you? Lean into it. Listen. Learn. Laugh. Love. And leave. Leave every expectation and every judgement you’ve ever had behind. Careful, your ego is going to fight you on this!
Your healing is important to God. He uses some of the most broken people, “the most over-looked,” and the “least popular” to transform the world.
How I showed up for myself had an impact on how I was able to show up for others—in life and in business. And I know now that I can’t heal what I continue trying to hide.
Like me, some of you may be trying to cover the pain of potential and people lost. I wonder…would you think about the abandonment you’ve experienced, personally and professionally? Would you sit with what arises and ponder how it feels? Will you take the time to heal? To do so may be the first step forward. When they call you the lost cause, remember the one sheep: Jesus sees you; He knows you; and He will chase after you.
Natasha Stevens is passionate about humanitarian efforts ranging from empowering girls and women through education, writing, counseling, and speaking engagements, to hands on mission work in various places, including the eradication of forced child labor and early marriage through human trafficking. She loves a hearty laugh in summer gardens as much as a healthy bowl of oats in winter. She enjoys interacting with people from all walks of life, giving back where needed, and ministering the love and grace of Jesus without a title.