When Abandonment Strikes

Sometimes I wish I had a magic forcefield around me that could protect me from the fiercest of strikes. When I think of a military strike, I think deliberate, planned, intentional attack…that is how I see abandonment. It is a military strike against my whole being that is planned and strategic so that it can obliterate the target—me.

There is something evil that walks hand in hand with abandonment. This evil has a relationship with the target, so it knows exactly where to strike and when. It knows the best time to execute a strike is when the defenses are down and comfort is being felt. It wants to demolish the strike zone and knows that successful strikes are patient and strategic. This evil knows the contours of the land, including the land around the strike zone. It knows the history of all that the land has experienced. And it knows the historical tunnels, escape routes, and electrical systems. This strategic data can be retrieved at a moment notice. 

It is best if the one being targeted already has a narrative that will work against her all on its own. For example, if the target is a ruler, a king or queen, then knowing the story of that ruler, including weakness, will prove highly beneficial in the attack. What are her desires and longings, and what has kept her from fulfillment of those desires? This is how abandonment reaches its objective. Abandonment will likely cast a wide net around whatever ground it has already conquered and use it to its advantage.

As the strike comes, defense structures are weak and desire is at an all-time high. Goodness is likely to be experienced in the moments, hours, days before a strike. When abandonment chooses to strike, an eerie sense of security has already been felt. Safety is known. 

So in my heart, I feel safe, I feel known, I feel seen…the greatest desires that have been a pursuit my entire life.

It is in these places of safety and security that evil lurks with a haunting presence.

This evil knows me so well and has been a part of me from the beginning, laying groundwork. The abandonment of past relationships are used as tools to enhance the effectiveness of evil.

Then the strike comes…abandonment hits, and there is no escape route. The air fills with a heaviness that suffocates every breath. A panic begins and floods my body with a sense of drowning. The weapons chosen for the attack assault my core weaknesses. The arrows are filled with a poison that quickly spreads through the blood stream; they are called lies. These lies travel with the blood and not one part of my being is untouched by the horror of these lies. 

With survival as the body’s defense, the best course of action is not to fight my own blood but to take in the lies as part of me. With a loss of breath, a sense of drowning, and my body contamination, there is little hope for survival. The takeover is soon complete. Annihilation is the goal; destruction seems inevitable.

Abandonment, no matter how it is engaged, will come, especially if there are prior conquered lands. But I wonder, is abandonment a lost cause? Will annihilation always be the end result? Or are there weapons or structures or defense strategies one can have at the helm, ready to combat the fierce forces of abandonment? Is there a forcefield that can cover the goodness of my life from another attack?

I have to believe that my being is not for the taking. I have to believe there is a means of defense so that abandonment does not strike me over and over. I have to believe that claimed land cannot be lost….but I wonder how?

Kimberly (Kim) Hock enjoys a vibrant relationship with the Lover of her soul as His love has unwrapped a whole new language to her. She is a wife of a pastor and mother of four teenagers. Kim has just begun to find a voice in writing and her passion of unfolding feelings and experiences in words. Life in ministry, healing of trauma, and cancer victory has given her unique perspective and a colorful freedom to express her thoughts in words.