Believing Lies, Knowing Truth

Believing the lies today.
Know the truth.
Doesn’t matter.
Believing the lies anyway.
They are swirling all around me in a feeding frenzy.
Feeding on each other and growing stronger and darker and louder.
Yet they aren’t shouting. That would be wasted energy.
They whisper.
Inept. Incapable. Inadequate. Incompetent. Inferior.
And the whispers echo everywhere.
Over and over. Around and around.
My meager attempts to combat them with the truth I know
Fall flat and break apart into shattered pieces blown away by the windswept lies.
Defeated and overwhelmed, I find myself listening again.

Yes I know the lies are lies.
So why do I believe them and feel such assurance in what I believe that is not true?
I don’t know.
I can’t stop.
Not today.
Maybe tomorrow.
Maybe never.

Thank God that His mercies really are new every morning.
His faithfulness is infinite.
Even when I falter and fail and believe lies as if they are true.
Even when I cry out to Him for help and feel nothing and wonder
And doubt
And question
And long for peace.

I’m held
And loved
And enveloped in grace.
But I feel lost and afraid and confused
And
Alone.

Then

Glorious light dawns. Shining, warming, helping me to see.

New thoughts in my mind that open my heart to finally feel their truth.

I realize this cycle of softly whispered resounding lies has me hunkered down, hiding, and setting up residence in a place I don’t belong.
Inept. Incapable. Inadequate. Incompetent. Inferior.
And it is here and now that the whispers are inexplicably pierced by silence.
Deafening silence that somehow has the capacity to shine brilliantly
Illuminating the darkness and bringing forth new truth that shatters the lies into tiny fragments of dust that simply blow away.
Yet there is no wind except a soft and gentle breeze that slowly stops.
Stillness.
And in the stillness, a calming, a comforting, a love like no other.
And one word spoken with incomparable compassion from the mouth that spoke everything into being.

Invaluable.

I am beyond value. There is no limit to my worth. I am continuously and forever loved unconditionally. Created just as I am for a purpose beyond my grasp, yet within God’s plan.

A new day, with a new perspective, and a new God-given strategic weapon.
The power of a word of Truth that speaks softly to the broken hurting longing places within.

But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.”
Lamentations 3:21-24


Lauri Smith is a serious-minded deep thinker who instinctively longs to run from adventure. She is a grateful recipient of the love of Jesus, who continually leads her on adventures of the soul. She digs deep to gain knowledge and understanding of the incomprehensible grace and God-ness of God. Her passion for writing is inborn, and she is honored to encourage others with it.