Everywhere I turn, there is nothing. Vast nothingness all around me.
As far as my eye can see is emptiness. Dry, arid, dusty, flat and desolate nothingness.
My heart is broken into a million pieces. Shattered into dust on the ground. It’s hard to distinguish between the dust of my broken heart and the dust of the earth.
My mind is empty. Unable to process or line up thoughts into any shape or pattern of logic.
My eyes only see a blurry haze. There isn’t anything clear in my vision. It is as if I am surrounded by a thick fog, unable to decipher what is ahead.
My ears hear nothing. There is a buzzing in my ears. A monotone din that drowns out all of the world continuing to move around me. Continuing to move while I am stuck in a fog. In a daze. In nothingness.
Questions and confusion stir in my heart. Abandonment is the theme of my life. Hurt, anger and betrayal all bouncing around in my spirit. Each of them competing for the main emotion to rule the day.
I cannot move. I don’t want to move. I can’t see where to go. I have no motivation to find the path.
My chest is heavy. My pulse is racing. My eyes are swollen. My heart is shattered.
How do I pick up the pieces of my life and move forward?
How do I take a step when I feel as if my world has tipped off of its axis? How do I breathe when it seems as though my life has been sucked right out of me?
I see something. I see her. Is she an angel sent from above?
I hear her speaking. What is she saying? I can barely make it out.
I intentionally slow my breathing and wipe my tears from my eyes and strain to focus on the words. On the message she is sharing with me. I lean in closer in an attempt to hear more clearly. I can tell that what is being spoken is extremely important for me to hear.
My sweet girl, listen closely. I have a message just for you. You are not alone today. You are not abandoned! Take my hand as I want to show you something. Come this way with me. Look ahead of you. I know we are surrounded by a barren and desolate land but I need you to look straight ahead. This is a path right in front of us. I know you didn’t see it before but I wanted to show it to you. I wanted you to see that there is a way out.
Yes, I know that this path seems scary and there are a lot of unknowns ahead. But I am here to remind you that by taking one step at a time, you can move forward. You can move out of the sadness and heartache and pain. And even more importantly, you do not have to do it alone. The Holy Spirit is your guide. He is walking with you and holding your hand. When your chest seems too heavy and your heart broken in too many pieces, he is healing and mending and piecing everything back together. He only asks for you to trust. He only wants you to take one step at a time. Remember you aren’t walking alone. He is guiding you and holding you every step of the way.
When the crushing weight of this life is trying to take you down. When you feel like there is no reason to keep going. When your heart is crushed into a million pieces and you don’t have any hope at all. Remember this: the Holy Spirit is your GPS. He is your guide. Even when you can’t see where the path is leading or what detours might be ahead, he is guiding and leading and walking right beside you.
The truth is that there is hope. There is life. There is another day ahead of you. You are not abandoned. You are loved and pursued. You have a purpose.
I don’t know why you must walk through this pain. It certainly isn’t fair. But I am here to remind you that you are not alone. The next step is possible. The next breath is doable. The next chapter is right around the corner.
Kenda Haines finds joy in spending time with friends, encouraging those around her, singing worship music and being filled with beautiful words. She loves being a mama to two beautiful young ladies and resides in Lowell, MI. She enjoys making time in her life to laugh, share stories and go on grand adventures.