Sleepwalking was my companion for three years, but I must admit, it felt amazing to be able to sleep and walk at the same time. Now I know how Michael Jackson mesmerized the masses with his moonwalk. Gliding through the vicissitudes of life without a care in the world, the freedom to just be, with the world watching, but your gaze solely fixed on the God of all Creation. The science of it all thrills me beyond my daily routine and interrupts my flow state.
Gosh, did I just say that out loud?
Women, you know the moon has interesting effects on us. Men operate on the Gregorian Calendar, and well, we women move with the moon. The moon has cycles: Full, New, Crescent, Waxing, Gibbous. When is the last time that the Full Moon symbolized the end of something for you and the New Moon embarked you on a different path?
This is important to know so that you don’t wear yourself out naturally attempting something that the Spirit realm isn’t aligned with. It’s helpful for your life partner as well. We don’t want them wondering why we are “having a moment.” And it’s totally okay because you, through those cycles, carry vision and birth life.
The moon was new that month. My phone rang at 4AM.
“Are you asleep?” he asked. “Walk with me. I’m believing God for something major.”
“Why me Lord? I just want to sleep!” Grumbling, I grabbed my keys. After all, if the Pastor calls, you move.
Then we stopped the walk and he said: “Wow, look at the moon.” Something shifted and he continued, “This won’t look like anything you’ve learned in church.”
Wait. How do I find this innocuous thing? I’m used to structure, schedules, and a timeline for everything. I am a planner. Did he mean that God was going to fling me into the world of those sinful people? No thank you. I’ve been in “those places.” They are dark and scary. Unsafe. Wild. Out of my comfort zone. Those were my justifications for 10 years, until God really did “fling me out.” I renamed myself “Josefina.” Left in a pit, sleepwalking, shouting out for help, only to hear hollow echoes.
Daniella, that was my name during the time I so faithfully served those who sullied my name, hurled insults at me for correcting them in truth and love, gossiped, and did all sorts of malicious things towards me. That was some serious, strange fire. I was so “sleepy” that I didn’t know how to get out. As others began to see what I saw, I threw on my “E.M.T.” helmet and helped some escape, all while “sleeping on myself.” God remained in the fire with me. Purifying me, purging negativity away from me. I was “out of the fire” before I knew I was out! Freedom was mine and I took it! Silly me, it was mine all along. But I had to look back and see how God taught me HIMSELF. I HAD to be burned.
I know the love of Jesus without the pomp and circumstance, without the insults, without the dark embers of “the dude code.” I’d returned to myself, and while given structure, I was also free to break some rules. I could relax. I could flow and not have to worry about “my image” in front of “those elite people.” Who cares? God Loves Me.
“She’s not submissive anymore. She’s wild, she’s unpredictable,” they whisper to each other.
My slingshot is ready but the difference is I’m slinging it from a level of love that you can’t access without going through the pit, fasting for the “Palace” instead of the people who need it, and braving the embers of hot coals, you know, the place where everything comes out.
Paulina, the one that shakes snakes off with everyone proclaiming to know who she is. I define myself in light of God’s Word and the TRUE love of Jesus, not some trumped-up version of life that binds you to dogmatic regulations on what’s proper and what’s right. I’m not church bashing; I’m believing for the Body to get Better.
Moonwalking with the Master, “WOKE!”
Pray for your walk and pray for those who saw the Moon, but missed the Master’s hand. God loves them too.
Are you sleepy? #MeToo … and it doesn’t look like anything I’ve seen in #ChurchToo.
The name changes are gender-friendly. Galatians 2:6
Natasha Stevens was born in a two parent, loving home to an attorney and a teacher and has lived in several countries. From humanitarian efforts to education and speaking engagements, she enjoys interacting with people from all walks of life. An Executive Team Member of Pitch2Me, she is blessed to be able to offer film finance for aspiring filmmakers. Her best friend is Jesus and she has over 4000 children in the form of adult entrepreneurs. As an ambassador for Girl Rising having held two screenings and implemented curriculum in a school, Natasha hopes to awaken others to the wonderful opportunities of giving back.