Truth, I had started a post and my husband came in and I said, “Hey listen to what I have so far for my post.” I proceeded to read my first three paragraphs to which he said, “What are you hoping for with this, I mean you’re going to blow it up with that post.”
What came next was an intense exchange where my enneagram 8 style of communication, commanding and direct squared off with Mark’s style which is all about best practices and the ‘right’ way to think about things. Did I mention the exchange was intense.
It is not easy being married to me. So, I am grateful for this man who has the strength and willingness to spar with me, act as a sounding board and square off to remind me there are other options. I speak with a lot of strength and I can often come off sounding like my way is the only way, even if I don’t necessarily believe its the only way. It’s just the way I am wired. I am commanding. I see a direction I believe is the way to go and I begin rounding up support and leading down that road, and people follow me.
I am an instigator.
When someone says “no, it can’t be done” or “that’s too difficult or too expensive or too complex” I feel energized. It’s like I’ve been given a luscious dark chocolate candy and glass of jammy Cabernet, it tastes good and I begin to savor the layers and possibilities. My mind starts thinking and the dreaming of how to make the impossible possible happens.
I find myself wondering these days about how to instigate a movement of women compelled to care so deeply that they are willing to unify and sacrifice for the sake of their sisters.
I want to speak and lead in ways that leave those who have encountered whatever my hands are touching changed and bothered by injustice in all its many forms.
There are opportunities all around us to make a difference and I fear that we may read, tweet, Instagram and Facebook about them but not actually do the hard work of caring.
A lot of injustice has happened in the past couple weeks in the United States.
-Charlottesville a shocking and deeply rattling reality check about the truth of white supremacy being alive and well.
-Houston and the unbelievable devastation that continues to unfold before our eyes.
-The Nashville Statement from the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood being felt by the LGBTQ community as another painful reminder that they are the object of religious law keeping requiring that articles be drafted and signed.
We have traumatized and marginalized people in need of our attention and care in both simple and profound ways.
And I haven’t even started on the needs across the oceans in other parts of the world.
What will you do today? What will you sacrifice to make a difference? It has to start with something. As a Texan with friends in Houston I feel compelled to address the need there immediately. While there are many ways you can give available online I was tearful as I listened to Brene Brown ask for donations for underwear.
She speaks that the need is about human dignity and I simply can’t get beyond the truth of her words.
So skip your Starbucks today or whatever other convenient thing you spend your money on and give as generously as you can to ensure someone’s dignity please.
And join me in dreaming about how we can actually unify to begin fighting the daily injustices that are simply waiting for us notice them and do something, here and abroad.
Tracy Johnson is a lover of stories and a reluctant dreamer, living by faith that “Hope deferred makes the heart sick but when dreams come true there is a life and joy” (Pro. 13:12). She is the Founder of Red Tent Living. Married for 30 years, she is mother to five kids. After a half century of life, she’s feeling like she may know who she is. She writes about her life and her work here.
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I, too, am an Enneagram 8 (and am in a job that I had been told could not be done), and relate to this piece. More and more, I find myself saying what I believe needs to be said about injustices because I think many people just don’t consider the impact of their actions. I often get blank looks and silence in response, and I am ok with that. Saying what is in my heart seems to be what I am being invited to do (rather than stewing in silence). Thanks for posting this piece.
Madeline, I do understand the feeling of silence and blank stares. I am guilty of having not thoughtfully or carefully considered the impact of my words and actions and I am grateful for those who dared to speak and invite me to something more and different. Thanks so much for you response to my piece today. Blessings as you continue to speak what’s in your heart.
Hmmm…I kind of want to read your original three paragraphs, haha.
Beautiful post. Lots of truth. I loved this part:
When someone says “no, it can’t be done” or “that’s too difficult or too expensive or too complex” I feel energized. It’s like I’ve been given a luscious dark chocolate candy and glass of jammy Cabernet, it tastes good and I begin to savor the layers and possibilities. My mind starts thinking and the dreaming of how to make the impossible possible happens.
I have known this to be true about you. I’m one of those people who tends to think “Oh, it’d be too hard, impossible (I’m good with visions…not so great at executing plans)” so your strength and grit and rallying spirit is a massive gift to me and so many of us who have a hard time making anything happen on our own. You bring the gifts of many together…to bless many…which magnifies the entire Kingdom.
Thanks for rallying us again to fight against injustice and to be living sacrifices beyond the land of social media. And to do this daily for our own sisters too. Instigation in the best way.
xoxo.
Lib…someday I will share those first three original paragraphs 😉
I think of you as an instigator, you’ve surely been one for me. “Hey Tracy can we read this book called The Red Tent by Anita Diamond and then talk about it?”
Huge instigation there and look where it led.
Thank you Tracy, you have energy that instigates others to love well and do good deeds. I love how you embrace who you are and rally the forces around you. You have gotten me serious about buying underwear! Truly, you instigate and so, thank you! Here we go!
Thanks Becky. I love that you clicked and bought some underwear! So good. “Here we go!” The rally cry! You are an instigator too my friend, your honesty and vulnerability stir my heart and the heart of this community and call us all to more. We’re in it together sister.
Tracy,
The current things of life are BIG. So much chaos. It feels good to be able to something NOW. NOW is often calling my name….what do we do NOW…what can I do NOW….your link to Brene Browns post for Undies gave me an action step to do NOW. And it’s DONE. Thanks! Much love my friend.
I am so with you in the BIGness of things, it can feel overwhelming to step in and stab at doing something about any of it! I am a now girl too so I loved you naming that about yourself. Thanks for clicking and doing it. Sending love back at you!
Thank you for bringing your entire self to the game and for spurring ideas into action. You inspire me.
I am all in Julie! Sometimes the splash can feel a bit big 😉
Thanks for being in it with me.
It’s just right 🙂
Tracy, thank you for your Holy Instigation! You are calling us not only to see and empathize but to join forces and act in wholehearted love. Your post came as a wonderful disruption today. I see your glory here, a tender hearted woman brought to tears over the need for underwear in Houston, but also a sobering call to take responsibility and move… I’ve heard Rohr say that 8’s have the capability to impart a feeling of strength to others. I feel empowered by your words.
“So skip your Starbucks today or whatever other convenient thing you spend your money on and give as generously as you can to ensure someone’s dignity please.”
I love that, Holy Instigation, I’ll be holding onto that Rachel. It isn’t often that my 8ness gets attached to words like holy so I feel blessed and affirmed deeply. Truly grateful.
Tracy – Love this post and am often torn about where to best give my time and passions with so much need around us! I am also energized when someone says “no, it can’t be done” but I’m also seeking to be a keen student of the styles of others and be aware of the “bigness” inside of me that can inadvertently pull at the seams of relationships I love. It’s a delicate dance indeed! I’m so looking forward to meeting you and everyone in a couple weeks! (Thanks again for nudging me to attend!)
(And yes, I too, am a Brene fan and fellow undie-supporter!)
I think I would enjoy reading the unedited post.
Thank you for inspiring me to offer Red Tent dinners…..I knew what could happen and I experience the beauty that comes with women connecting and offering to each other.