There is a sense of urgency growing within me with each passing year. It stems from a place deep in my heart that cradles the memories of what was and the reality of what is today. It centers on my story the one only I get to tell because it is my truth written in my voice. The story may be different from another’s perspective, yet for now I truly believe God is leading me to honor my memories and to bring about restoration of relationships. I would not say that I have arrived because this place in my heart is not a destination. It is what is emerging as I hold kindness for those I have loved and are still dear to my heart.
John and I have reconnected with friends we have known for over 35 years. The last four years have been ones of strain and separation that set us apart from one another. I believe our reconnection was propelled by the importance and value of the time remaining in our lives. The four of us are aging and I am highly aware of how our lives could change at any given moment. Likewise I am aware that nothing happens without knowing that God has been in preparation for the path and that His preparation is intentional.
It was time…
My heart felt a deep sense of gratitude as I entered into their home once again after being absent from there for so long. There was a familiarity with our shared history that touched a place in my heart that said I did belong. I know now that this is the place where God has been growing my capacity to love and to live in a world that is flawed.
This world carries much disappointment that seems to intensify with each passing year.
I find my heart holds both the love and the disappointment as a place where God’s presence is sustaining my sorrow over the loss of time and relationship together.
And I am seeing that God’s preparation is enough to begin again to rekindle the goodness of what was.
Our time together was restorative for me with a deeper connection than I had thought was possible. The level of honesty I experienced was healing for me. I discovered that coming together is not all or nothing but more of a sharing the ownership of what each of our heart’s carry. It is different because our hearts are different. My ownership is tied to my truth and always has been, and I am learning that my truth can be disappointing and others do not define the power it carries. Instigating relationship remains very dear to me because of what I am finding out during this stage of my life.
I have found a place in my heart where God’s grace is enough, I belong to him flaws and all.
It has definitely taken courage to recommit and reconnect with those who know my imperfections so well. I felt received in the reciprocity of what it means to have honest conversation. My tears were present as my heart acknowledged that I had indeed missed their presence in my life.
My hope is that you, too, will have the courage to reconnect with a friendship that has gotten lost over the years. It will take resolve as you recognize those imperfections in your life and move forward anyway. My hope is that you, too, will experience a reciprocal give and take that says you belong in whatever way God has prepared you to show-up. My hope is that you will find love that prompts your heart to move forward with bravery and to know that God’s grace is enough for you too.
Mary Jane Hamilton loves her life living on Lake Michigan with her husband of 47+ years. It is her family that brings her the greatest joy especially her 6 grandchildren. MJ readily admits that she adores her dachshunds and rests in the comfort they provide. She smiles at life and “rolls with the punches” that are thrown her way. MJ loves Jesus and beauty, MJ loves wind, waves and thunder, MJ loves fashion and good wine, MJ loves…