There is a sense of urgency growing within me with each passing year. It stems from a place deep in my heart that cradles the memories of what was and the reality of what is today. It centers on my story the one only I get to tell because it is my truth written in my voice. The story may be different from another’s perspective, yet for now I truly believe God is leading me to honor my memories and to bring about restoration of relationships. I would not say that I have arrived because this place in my heart is not a destination. It is what is emerging as I hold kindness for those I have loved and are still dear to my heart.
John and I have reconnected with friends we have known for over 35 years. The last four years have been ones of strain and separation that set us apart from one another. I believe our reconnection was propelled by the importance and value of the time remaining in our lives. The four of us are aging and I am highly aware of how our lives could change at any given moment. Likewise I am aware that nothing happens without knowing that God has been in preparation for the path and that His preparation is intentional.
It was time…
My heart felt a deep sense of gratitude as I entered into their home once again after being absent from there for so long. There was a familiarity with our shared history that touched a place in my heart that said I did belong. I know now that this is the place where God has been growing my capacity to love and to live in a world that is flawed.
This world carries much disappointment that seems to intensify with each passing year.
I find my heart holds both the love and the disappointment as a place where God’s presence is sustaining my sorrow over the loss of time and relationship together.
And I am seeing that God’s preparation is enough to begin again to rekindle the goodness of what was.
Our time together was restorative for me with a deeper connection than I had thought was possible. The level of honesty I experienced was healing for me. I discovered that coming together is not all or nothing but more of a sharing the ownership of what each of our heart’s carry. It is different because our hearts are different. My ownership is tied to my truth and always has been, and I am learning that my truth can be disappointing and others do not define the power it carries. Instigating relationship remains very dear to me because of what I am finding out during this stage of my life.
I have found a place in my heart where God’s grace is enough, I belong to him flaws and all.
It has definitely taken courage to recommit and reconnect with those who know my imperfections so well. I felt received in the reciprocity of what it means to have honest conversation. My tears were present as my heart acknowledged that I had indeed missed their presence in my life.
My hope is that you, too, will have the courage to reconnect with a friendship that has gotten lost over the years. It will take resolve as you recognize those imperfections in your life and move forward anyway. My hope is that you, too, will experience a reciprocal give and take that says you belong in whatever way God has prepared you to show-up. My hope is that you will find love that prompts your heart to move forward with bravery and to know that God’s grace is enough for you too.
Mary Jane Hamilton loves her life living on Lake Michigan with her husband of 47+ years. It is her family that brings her the greatest joy especially her 6 grandchildren. MJ readily admits that she adores her dachshunds and rests in the comfort they provide. She smiles at life and “rolls with the punches” that are thrown her way. MJ loves Jesus and beauty, MJ loves wind, waves and thunder, MJ loves fashion and good wine, MJ loves…
MJ…this is so lovely and just the encouragement my heart needed today. Thank you. Love to you, Christine
So glad I could speak to your heart for today. Your words ar a great encouragement to me💗MJ
The risks you take to create spaces for God’s faithfulness and grace to birth restoration and connection in relationship with others is hopeful and inspiring Mary Jane. Thank you for this post and your tender heart!
You are so welcome! And your words are so kind. Any day one feels inspiration from me is a good day💜MJ
Well said, Mary Jane. Your old friend, Sandy
Yep…old friend…carry on…today is a good one to be alive💜MJ
Beautiful words dear friend. It is with kindness that you hold your heart and those you love. When we care we can move on with courage….the dance of risk and courage bless ! Thank you for your invitation to something different !
Thank you, Elaine. Your words are soothing to my heart. I believe I may be risking more, life is not getting any shorter💗MJ
A heart that moves forward with bravery. Yes. Oh yes. And I know who I am to move toward.
Yes, my friend…it does take a brave heart to move. I am glad i moved! Carry on…
💜MJ
Mary Jane, your words convict me–in the best way possible. I lost a dear friend more than 20 years ago, but I still thing of her often and still feel the emptiness where she once was in my life. Thank you for sharing this; it touches my soul deeply.
So grateful for you and your open heart to extend kindness to me from your life. Sorry about your friend. I understand what lingers over those years of separation. Bless you💗MJ
I love your sense of urgency that calls you to holy and redemptive change. You rock my world! So….when and how do you realize who will take you up on this redemptive hope of letting bygones be bygones?
Hi Becky…I wish I could say that my realization came quickly but the reality is that it was a long time coming. My hope has come from a place of deep love coupled with deep pain…both carrying great risk for my heart. There is more and I am simply trusting God💗MJ
Thank you for sharing this beautiful story, Mary Jane! My heart is so encouraged. I love that it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. And yes, it will be different, but that His grace and tender care in our hearts can allow so many amazing possibilities…if only we risk. Just beautiful.
Thank you Christine! So glad your heart is encouraged. Friendships are worth the risk…trust you are happy, my friend. Blessings💗MJ
So beautiful MJ! I love your commitment to paying attention to what your heart is being prepared for, and for moving towards your friends again with kindness, even in the disappointment and loss. Reconciliation and restoration…truly beautiful.
Thank you, Janet. Sometimes I’m not all that sure what my heart is preparing me for…it feels so hard and risky. I believe that it is worth the risk. I live and sometimes question my own heart but I carry on anyway. Hope this finds you in a glorious space of goodness💜MJ