My daughter-in-law called me the other day and said, “Please talk to Isabelle (my almost 5 year old granddaughter). She’s freaking out because she’s not a baby anymore.”
So Isabelle got on the phone excitedly and says, “Hi Nana! ” Then the next words are said through sobbing…”I don’t want to be grown up, I want to be a baby because everyone loved me more when I was a baby!” I told her that I love that she’s a big girl. We get to talk, play, do craft projects and giggle together.
You know, I can relate to Isabelle’s feelings. That’s how I feel on the inside sometimes. I want to stay a “baby” because as an adult we have to say and do hard things like conflict, speaking truth, holding it together when all we want to do is crawl in bed and cry. Sometimes it’s just plain hard!
A friend said to me recently, “I can act like an adult on the outside but inside I don’t feel like a grown up.” That is so true!
I get where Isabelle is coming from, and I will choose to want to be a grown up on this journey with my three sons.
Deanna Sturgeon lives in Michigan with her husband of 31 years. A mother of three boys and 4 grandchildren, she loves playing with her grandkids, spending time with her family and friends, camping, watching the waves at the beach, and reading. She is learning to embrace what wild Jesus has for her through love, dreams, hope and laughter.