Once a week my yoga teacher begins class with a short talk about what she is learning. Poetry books, magazine articles, and her family all are the humus for her fruitful sharing. Yesterday she talked about the challenge of being liberated from being tied to her cell phone. She mentioned how odd it was for her to be in the orthodontist waiting room and choosing not to check her phone. She said it was boring. She said she was the only parent not looking at her phone.
It took me back to my years of mothering and waiting rooms and, yes, there was life before cell phones and I traversed it without a thought of discomfort. But today it would be odd not take my cell phone to the dentist. I like my phone near by when I am out of the house. It gives me something to do. Always.
The sentence that lingered after class was when Jen said how thrilled she was when her daughter, who had a friend over to play the day before, said, “I’m bored!” I don’t think I was ever thrilled as a mom when I heard that sentence. Jen was grateful for their boredom knowing that that experience is where creativity is birthed.
I took a quick inventory of my days and realized I have not valued boredom! I have a to do list that most likely won’t run out until I die. Seriously, I have so many things I want to do and plan to do and need to finish that I have prided myself that I don’t struggle with boredom.
I think I have embraced the wisdom of being quiet and still. I begin my days alone with my first hallowed cup of coffee quietly reading scripture, praying and gazing at the eastern horizon. I try and have a cup of tea quietly on the south side of our home in the afternoon while being quiet and looking out to the south. New imaging technology substantiates the neurological need for our brains to recharge through meditation or quiet. Being open to boredom adds a new twist and gives insight to what might be lacking in my day.
This connects with what I wrote about last month when our pastor challenged us to read scripture and to sit in a quiet closet for twenty minutes. Confession: I only did it once. I hated it! Since then, I have not even tried to do it. Why? You guessed it– I was bored. My boredom comes when I did not feel productive. I had even said to myself that I could sit in the closet later in afternoon, because there are so many things to do in the morning! But I never did. I don’t like sitting in a dark closet.
Pastor Dave was right when he said that those twenty minutes would be the hardest part of my day. I sat in my room this morning with a blindfold on and that was easier but I am still pondering, what’s with the dark closet that makes it so hard?
Matthew 6:6 in The Message reads, “ Here’s what I want you to do: Find a quiet secluded place so you won’t be tempted to role-play before God. Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage. The focus will shift you to God, and you will begin to sense his grace.
Our Father in heaven,
Reveal who you are.
Set the world right;
Do what’s best—
as above, so below.
Keep us alive with three square meals.
Keep us forgiven with you and forgiving others.
Keep us safe from ourselves and the Devil.
You’re in charge!
You can do anything you want!
You’re ablaze in beauty!
Yes. Yes. Yes.
I love how that reads. I had never read the Lord’s Prayer in The Message. I love how Jesus has used my yoga teacher, pastor, current neuoscience reading for the Allender Center abuse and trauma training to tease me with boredom. I love that Jesus has gotten my attention loud and clear to offer a meager sacrifice of twenty minutes a day to hear Him. It doesn’t sound like much, but given that I have failed for two weeks to succeed I need to acknowledge it is a big deal.
A part of John Eldredge’s daily prayer reads: “Dear God, holy and victorious Trinity, you alone are worthy of all my worship, my heart’s devotion, all my praise and all my trust and all the glory of my life. …I confess here and now that it is all about you, God, and not about me. You are the Hero of this story, and I belong to you.”
If that is my confession than I humbly write that I am trying this again. I am trying to find, as our pastor said, that twenty minutes a day in a dark closet will become the very best part of my day. Here goes to boredom, to quiet and to listening. Listening for His voice and care and delight for me.
Becky Allender lives on Bainbridge Island with her loving, wild husband of 36 years. A mother and grandmother, she is quite fond of sunshine, yoga, Hawaiian quilting and creating 17th Century reproduction samplers. A community of praying women, loving Jesus, and the art of gratitude fill her life with goodness. She wonders what she got herself into with Red Tent Living!
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Thank you for your honesty and openness. I, too, struggle with the down time and the not producing time. God so desires our full attention – why am I so hesitant to give it to Him? It reminds me of the hymn, Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus….look full in His wonderful face – and the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of his glory and grace. It is my turning to Him and giving Him my full attention that enables Him to bless me with His glory and grace. A struggle – a battle – that I fight one day at a time.
Barbara, thank you for your awesome words. I love that hymn and it says it all, doesn’t it? Time bears down on us in unfathomable ways. It takes a strong and intentional will to give our full attention to Jesus.
Dear Becky, once again your words challenge and invite me. Your honesty encourages me to be truthful with myself. I am challenged by wanting God’s constant attention while struggling to spend 10 minutes of solitude in my dark closet. I tried it once in early January. I’ll try again. Your words impact and are a gift. Becky you are a gift. Love Valerie
Thank you, Valerie. It’s so great that we can keep trying and let go of any guilt. God doesn’t keep score.
Does it count if we sit in the closet together? Because we would have fun and have much to talk about!! 🙂 Seriously though, your beautiful words are a reminder to me of what God knows I need though I avoid it and Him in this way much too often. The lie is that if I am not busy, then it won’t all get done and I will be a failure. Lies for sure and I do not want to believe them any more. Thank you for your beautiful challenge and I promise to try the closet prayer out and I won’t even bring my cell phone to call you if I’m bored! xo
You are so right, Laurie. Lies haunt us in regard to our time. Always more to get done. Always more that we could do. I need to turn that noise off and just be. Just be and breathe. And….I think we’d have fun in the closet together. I am sure I would have to laugh!
Love this mom, especially coming off my time of silence and no phone on retreat. So great to disconnect and go inward. Love you!
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Thank you so much, Annie! I look forward to sitting at your feet and hearing your experience and how you got to a feeling of “bliss”. I so respect you.
Becky, how beautiful to share where you struggled in such an honest way to continue what you had hoped for…and yet you showed practical ways that you are still listening and seeking. I enjoyed all that you reflected in this post, so much for me to ponder. Thank you.
I have always resisted daily routines. I told myself that it just wasn’t me; I reasoned that I was the “fly by the seat of yer pants” kinda girl and I didn’t need a routine. But recently I have begun to see the wisdom of a time of quiet reflection before I “just fall into” whatever the day holds. It helps me to be aware my energy level or lack thereof and keeps me (if I listen) 😉 from overextending myself as well.