“I’ve been getting ready to get ready for several hours, but now I’m going to get ready and I’ll try to be there by 11.”My friend laughed and said, “I remember those days.” I arrived at her house at 11:15.
Before making that call, I had intended to be dressed and at least almost ready to leave when Ed’s caregiver arrived at 10. I was going to see a device her husband had used when he struggled with a long term progressive disease. She thought we might be able to use it. Then I would find a quiet space to write, quiet time to write; time that I’ve longed for, but either couldn’t make it happen, or I went blank when it got quiet.
I did spend time in the quietness of the gray morning, something I often neglected during this past year if I woke too late to be ready when my husband woke and called for help, usually sometime between 7:20 and 8:10. His needs cannot be ignored.
The cat wanted out, then in, then threw up on the carpet the food he’d just eaten. Back outside. I cleaned the carpet, a waste of my quiet time when I really wanted MY time. Why couldn’t he throw up on the laminate kitchen floor?
No need to get ready now, I should eat breakfast. And I’ll wait to shower and dress after 9 a.m. since I need to place a business call I’ve forgotten for four days.
OK, so when said cat was out for the 3rd time, I quieted myself again. I’m able to read one whole chapter of the Bible. WOW, a whole chapter – it’s been weeks since I’ve done that!
I’m not going to live with guilt.
This is a phase. Everything else about life is constantly changing, so this will not always be the same…could be worse!
I will, instead, be thankful for the few minutes of quiet I had. I will remember that there were many years when I could read, study or write, uninterrupted for long periods of time. The accumulation of knowledge is not my goal now. Living out the wisdom truths I’ve learned is more important.
Once when my children were young, my life was full of commitments and schedules, I told my mother-in-law that I wished I had more quiet time. “Don’t worry,” she replied, ”you will.”
Although my quiet times are not as I pictured, I do take more time to breathe, reflect, be still, sometimes journal.
As I type, I’m now looking out my friend’s kitchen window…she’s gone out and I have time to write. Her cat ate his spinach and left the room – yes, spinach, and some other greens.
Yellow leaves are falling gently to the ground– almost as if they’re taking turns, it isn’t very windy, but they’ve held on long enough. The light rain seems to be loosening their grip.
I’ve had my quiet time. Ready to run some errands before I return home.
Quietness has rejuvenated me. I’m getting ready to get ready to go home.
I’m ok with that.
Lorna Dobson has been a Christian since she was in grade school. She and Ed have been married almost 42 years, blessed with 3 children and 6 grandchildren. A former piano teacher, church musician, and sometimes writer, she hopes to try some artistic development in basic flower arranging and drawing, as an outlet for inner growth.nbsp