Freedom.

Remembrance.

School’s release/Graduation.

Life in its fullness.

The themes for this month all feel true for me as I sit here today pondering what to write for the start of our month at Red Tent Living.

This week I am at a seminar I have attended for the past twelve years. It is a place where the path towards freedom has unfolded for me. Freedom from the secrets and shame of sexual abuse, freedom from the legalism that came from the church, freedom from the lies of evil and the stranglehold it had on my heart and mind. And today, I help offer that path to others.

I am remembering today. Remembering last May as we headed into the final days of my son’s senior year of high school. Remembering the May that Katy graduated from college, and the May before that when Allison graduated from high school, we sold our house and Mark was laid off. That May our life changed forever and today I am remembering.

School is finished for Steven this year. I just got a text from him that his car is loaded and he is on the road headed home. He is feeling the weight of saying goodbye to friends who have become precious to him this year, and the goodbye’s feel hard as he has decided to enroll in another university for next year. My heart is aching for him in the places where I know how much he loves those he invites into his heart. I am imagining that it will be a long five hours alone in his car as he drives home. I know he will have his music playing loudly, because music is where he feels God’s presence deeply. My son is a good man with a kind heart.

Life feels full to be sure. There is much to be held right now, savored and enjoyed. In just two weeks we will celebrate our Allison’s graduation from college, something we were told she would likely never accomplish when her learning disability was discovered in elementary school. The fullness of my joy and pride over her beauty and courage brings tears to my eyes.

Allison Cap

I feel another transition coming as Steven comes home for the summer and Allison returns home to determine her next step after graduation. The house will fill up again and with that, a transition from the quietness we feel when only the little girls are home.

The cold winter has delayed the daffodils and tulips blooming this year, and so they are just starting to burst open and signal the start of spring. The weather is still cool and the blooms I see are markers of hope for me that warmer weather is coming and along with it more blooms for summer.

It is May and my life reflects the themes that we chose nearly a year ago. I love that. I love that there is a rhythm to our lives; there are seasons and patterns, things that remain true. This year I have been more intentional about my days and how I have spent them. It has been good to do less, feel more and notice the rhythm of my life.

Feeling where the themes for this month all resonate for me today tells me that the choices I have made are changing me and leaving me more present in my life.

I love that.

So welcome May and all that it holds!