I love a rescue.
My husband, Carl, told me about a little bird in the house this morning. It was carried in through the cat door during the night by Jack-Jack, our feline huntress. In the midst of the game that cats play with their prey—the catch and release, catch and release—the little bird managed to escape and hide behind some furniture, no doubt terrified and traumatized. When Carl came downstairs for his morning coffee, he was surprised to be the target of something flying toward him with our dog, Goldberry, in hot pursuit. The fleeing bird hit the glass door and fell, stunned, to the floor. Carl threw a towel over it, scooped it up, and headed outside with it, as its heart beat wildly in fear. This little sparrow, when the towel was folded back, flew off to its freedom.
God came to me this week—a rescue. No other word seems fitting.
In remembering the details of my first scene of abuse as a 7 yr. old girl, evil had caught me in its grasp. Enter an accusation full of shame. And fear. And contempt. “You are a FOOL.”
The energy in which I often hear this message is fueled by rage. Rage at the one who provokes my desire and arousal—to be seen, enjoyed, and delighted in—and rage at myself, for being such a fool in my desire. The disappointment that typically follows my longing confirms that I am a fool, to which I respond by shutting down my heart and refusing to hope. The game of catch and release, catch and release—of being proven a fool—has repeated in other scenes of my life, over and over. Into the present.
This weekend, God threw a towel over me, and with my wildly beating heart, He held me. I trembled. I cried. I rested. And Truth came to me. In the words, faces, and care of kind and strong friends.
I do not know what went on in the mind and heart of that little bird.
But I do know several things.
~ Not a single sparrow falls to the ground out of the will, out of the sight, of its Creator God.
~ A sparrow was made to fly. Flight is hardwired into its design.
~While I do not know how many other dangers await this little bird, I know that
Today, it flew.
It flew into the sky, into the morning.
It flew to its freedom.
I do know what has gone on in my own heart and mind.
~The fear of loving and being loved.
~The hatred of my desire and arousal.
~The fear of being the fool.
I feel like I have had the opportunity to come, with Jesus—and scoop up the terrified little girl—and bring comfort. You don’t condemn and hate the little bird for being caught! Yet that has been the accusation of evil for most of my life: “you fool, you fool, you fool.”
What a Rescue!—the words of Jesus….
”You were fooled.
I have come for you.
Rest in my care.
Now ~ be free.”
It is for freedom, that Christ has set us free. I was made for love. It is hardwired into my design. It is a holy calling. And in it, I fly into the morning.
Gina lives with her husband of 26 years in Colorado. She has 2 gorgeous girls, a handsome son, and shares her home with a beloved collie and 2 cats. She is inviting her heart to risk more, and “kindness” and “rest” are taking on new meaning in her life. Gina enjoys making jewelry, gardening, and taking her mustang convertible out for a spin.