Lit

The light has faded out of my eyes
Where it once burned alive
Until a series of moments
I wouldn’t want
Made me live them.
“You’re evil inside”
Chanted my darkness tinged experiences
A few seconds turned decades
Of sorrow
Pushed my fire
Deeper
Inside myself
Until even I had a hard time seeing it.
Assumptions of my inner landscape
Forced into my view
Until a false me was all I could see.
A little girl
Holds lightness
In her hands
While her eyes
Breathe confusion.

It
Is
Time

For us to heal.
I invited her last week
To the present safety of the now me
And she came bringing terror
Trying to take over
And convince me to stop
Trusting
Hoping
Believing.
I feel her burning questions
Desperation
Pain-
Of course.
And oh how I love her
Gently
Giving what I’ve received from Love:
Unalone space to cry
Laugh
Rage
Play
Letting her choose
To exist untrapped
Within me
Freely.
And she tests me
So I give her
The safety she craved and was blamed for.
Come close
Dear one
And if you must
Ignite the sky with your essence.
I’ll already be there with mine
And we will burn away the lies together
Until what remains is wholeness
And the day will dawn bright
Through our eyes again.

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Hannah Umphress lives outside Denver, Colorado with her husband and two children. She enjoys finding and contributing to the beauty around her in the form of authentic poetry, a meaningful conversation or a well-placed joke. She believes God might be a giggler and that it’s good for the soul to have inside jokes with Him.

 

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