How To Kill A Mexican

Joke to him and to me
he’s there
she’s not seen
I’ll tell you the stories of eyes not blue

here in your backyard
You know I am
You’re here in my driveway
This is my land

Work from 5, 6, 0r 7 am
Push through
past the end
end of the day never here.

Expectations
Feel no pain
your body
never be late
only purpose
work for white men

strap on belt
tighten it
in the middle cinched up, aches in your core
buy him beer
he jokes
relaxing
you’re brown

And, I’m out back, yoke heavy burden
beginning to write white on my skin
silence
violence
calm
terrorizing
Brown man

word
Never spoken
familia
Exclude my kid
no reason

born wrong
In the middle
Not white

porn is all brown black or shade
tight
sexy
scrumptious
Butts
Breasts
sex, not white
Don’t deny
Don’t fight
Buy it again and again
Pay me to please you
demand’s what I do

spin
again
It’s do one more thing
try and be white
At least sex is alright

your system is broken
I’ll pay to fix it
your system is broken
Get all you get
your system is broken
It masturbates me
just your token
Like you want me to be

Don’t see my kids
Don’t see my wife
vato
hombre
Amigo
Soldado
Viejo
Muerto
I see it

give some value
you won’t do nada
Puta madres
Everyday

days you say “ataboys”
days where you don’t.
All of the white boys get dollars and joints
do their drugs daily
Drink, smoke,
I please you
The ways to be white are free and changing
that’s all that matters
Is white boy skin

listen now
listen then
never look at me
Not ever as friend
Who believes the brown guy
brown family
white latina wife?

Your church
Therapy works
Join
Catholic
you fit
in the mix
when you don’t see anybody like you
You start to see white is killing you

it’s joke
It’s “Hola”
“Cinco de Mayo”
“Como esta?”

justice
Truth
Time
dollars
white stares
soul,
steals youth
breaks you hard,
from birth to grave
despises

second class citizen
not citizen, sub human
not welcome
unwanted
not ever
in my way

Deviant immigrant
it tries and it tries
to erase inhumans
cutting off arms, legs,
fathers
mothers
sisters
brothers
souls
bodies
and all others

White is innocent

I’m tired of you, and white weekends.
white parties,
white traditions
Where family is last
culture is cheap
I’m dead anyway
you might as well know
put me in the grave
Enjoy the show


Mother of four and wife of one awesome Mexican, Danielle Castillejo is a 2nd year student at The Seattle School of Theology and Psychology, studying to get her MA in Counseling and Psychology. She works and volunteers part time in an organization in Seattle that advocates for the agency and freedom of commercial sex workers. A survivor of abuse herself she continues to fight for sanity and love every day.