New Years. Whew.
Last year I had my first New Years kiss but the excitement didn’t last long as shortly after I found my boyfriend hitting on other women. To add insult to injury… I caught my hair on fire. Seriously y’all. I caught my hair on fire. With all the hairspray I had used that evening my ‘do lit up like the fireworks in the sky. I left in tears without any semblance of dignity. And I smelled like a fireplace for a week.
It shaped up to be a banner year.
*Not so much!
What I didn’t know at the time was that evening was pretty much a snapshot of what my year would be. Not committed to good decisions, lonely, and catching myself on fire because I was standing dangerously close to the enticing flames of self-pity, self-loathing, and shame.
This year I went to the home of very lovely family friends. I was surrounded by family and loved ones. And I didn’t catch my hair on fire. Holla!! I have to admit that I thought twice about showing up. Part of me, a very large part of me, wanted to stay home alone. After the messy and painful year, I didn’t feel much like celebrating. While it’s easier to walk as a ghost, I really don’t want to be experienced that way. The Lord gently reminded me that my year didn’t all go up in smoke; I’ve been blessed with wonderful friends, a great job, and fortunate in so many ways. I am happy I decided to be present that evening. And it feels good to muster a laugh for 2014, the year I caught my hair on fire.
I’ve never been one for New Years resolutions. However, I’m feeling very cognizant of the desire in me to live 2015 leading with a different foot. I am filled with passion, and instead of being burned by that fire, I want to channel it into things that matter. I want this to be a year of rebirth and revival in my heart, body, and soul. There are opportunities just waiting for me to grab hold of them. Hope for connection, life and beauty. Philippians 3:13-14 has been speaking life to my heart the past couple of weeks.
“Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”
I may not look as apt as “Katniss Everdeen” as I fight through the flames, but this year I’ll be on fire for a different reason. And I know Jesus has an epic adventure in store.
Anna Hull lives in San Antonio, TX. A graduate of Schreiner University with a B.A. in Religion & Political Science, Anna is passionate about finding Jesus in every day life. She enjoys unexpected adventure, making genuine connections with others, and finding beauty in chaos.