Resolutions… This time of year there is much talk about them.
Merriam–Webster defines resolution as “1) the act of finding an answer or solution to a conflict, problem, etc. 2) the act of resolving something 3) an answer or solution to something.”
I see resolutions as vows or promises, maybe even teetering on the side of strongholds.
About.com listed the following as the Top 10 resolutions:
1) Spend More Time With Family and Friends
2) Fit in Fitness
3) Tame the Bulge
4) Quit Smoking
5) Enjoy Life more
6) Quit Drinking
7) Get Out of Debt
8) Learn Something New
9) Help Others
10) Get Organized
That is a great list. I could make a resolution surrounding most of them. I could vow or promise to spend more time with family and friends, to lose weight, to enjoy life, etc.
Where does that get me though? What happens in February? Or April? Or June, July and August? When does the resolution become forgotten or become something holding me captive?
There always seems to be excuses accompanying resolutions – especially if you have someone holding you accountable for your resolution. “I received a box of chocolates for Valentine’s Day, so I had to eat them.” “It was my birthday so we went out and of course I had dessert.” “My family always has a huge get together and barbecue for the 4th of July, so I splurged.” All of these are excuses that could be used for not losing weight… but that is just what they are, excuses.
For me, resolutions turn deeper and yuckier. They attach themselves, unwilling to let go. They fuel the lies in my head. They defeat me. I feel like a failure with every resolution. It is inevitable I won’t keep it. Sure, I will be good for a couple weeks, maybe even a month, but after that, I am done.
When I give up is when the lies kick in. I begin to believe in my heart I am a failure and I live my days as if I am. After all, I am not successful if I can’t follow through on something for 365 days. I failed if I didn’t make it 365 days. I failed if I gained weight or didn’t quit smoking, was selfish or didn’t get organized.
I jokingly posted on Facebook, “This year I resolve to not resolve.” It is true though. I don’t want to set myself up for failure. I don’t want to give the enemy something he can use to hold me captive. There is no kindness in that.
As I sit here and write however, I do have a resolution. I resolve to live each day as it is, a day. Twenty four hours or 1440 minutes or 86,400 seconds or however it is easiest to look at. Whatever happens in that day happens.
Tomorrow, I have a new day… A new clean slate… Another chance at life.
Becky Schulthess is a small town girl at heart. She treasures the true friendships developed throughout her years journeying on the healing path. Growth and change are things she has embraced, and she is beginning to fully live. This October she will begin Graduate School for a Master’s of Arts in Biblical Studies.