I have mixed emotions about Christmas. I used to go “all out” when our children were young. I would scare our family by shrieking when I saw elves peaking in the windows making sure the children were being nice. Usually about four sightings each year would cause our kids and Dan to scream and fall down in fear. It was fabulous.
I was a Santa fanatic and almost stood up during a preacher’s sermon and stomped out of the service with our five year old when he mentioned that Santa was not real. Tears of fury shot out of my eyes, “how dare him!” Thankfully, my daughter had not been listening. I was the patron saint of Santa and self-righteously obnoxious. I liked the anticipation of joy on steroids because of St. Nicholas who came down a chimney. My vision is more far reaching than it once was.
A few years ago I had the privilege of standing on a street corner in Seattle each Friday night to offer hope and care to the prostituted youth in our city. Our team of four or five women bundled up and offered hot chocolate, baked goods, a small heater and condoms to women 25 years and younger. We did it in the name of Jesus. If they wanted prayer, we prayed. If they were fearful of violent “Johns” or pimps we shielded them and allowed them to sit in our van.
Some of the police and undercover cops told us we were crazy to stand where violence was nearly certain. We did little but show up and “be” there until two-thirty in the morning. I may never know if any one was transformed by our gifts, but it changed my life. I will never be the same. One of the most important gifts I was given was to experience our common humanity. I am a suburban mom who used to go nuts at Christmas. I want my children to have a far better life than mine. I love surprise and want my children to be caught up in the goodness of the gifts of God.
Their hopes were the same as mine. Their dreams included lavish gifts for their children amidst the surprise of Christmas morning. As obvious as it might be, none of them hoped their daughters would follow them to the streets one day. And even more we are more alike in our shame and sexual struggles, our heartache and fears. We are human. And we long to be able to bless what it means to be more human.
When I read Luke 2 and picture the angel of the Lord appearing to the shepherds tending their flocks I think of these girls and young women. The shepherds were a crew that worked at night and were shunned by most. There is something about night work in a dangerous world that leads most people to give them a wide berth. They are not like us who go to bed early, rise to industrious lives, obey the rules, and receive the just reward for our labor.
It may seem crazy but my fanaticism to protect the innocence of Santa and his magical elves was fueled by the fantasy of making a life for my children where the dark realities of the night were swept away and magically erased. On one hand it is a laudable desire and on the other it is the basis of the division between the suburbs and the inner city.
I like to think of our girls walking next to the shepherds who have been told to follow the star. I like to think of that preacher who broke my heart with his pompous preaching one Sunday morning coming as well. Yes, I, a self-righteous, suburban fanatic would be with them too. We would all get to that shabby, smelly stable and bow before baby Jesus, our Savior Christ the Lord. And we would all get to hear a great company of heavenly host praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests.”
I want that reality, not make believe elves, to be what floors my husband and children. Until we are all at his feet, I will wrap presents, sing carols, bake Christmas bread and listen for the sound of mewing lambs and the percussion of stiletto high heels tapping out their sad song. The star leads us all to the same manger, hope, and gift. It brings our humanity to the cradle of our desire—lo and behold, our Redeemer.
 
Becky Allender lives on Bainbridge Island with her loving, wild husband of 36 years. A mother and grandmother, she is quite fond of sunshine, yoga, Hawaiian quilting and creating 17th Century reproduction samplers. A community of praying women, loving Jesus, and the art of gratitude fill her life with goodness. She wonders what she got herself into with Red Tent Living!
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Well said Becky! It brings good perspective to the true hope of Christmas. That the Redeemer would “floor” me and not the desire to create a reality which mimics truth! Thanks!
Thank you Autumn.
The beauty of this entry is breathtaking…thank you Becky. Bless you for risking and reaching out to others who need a Savior…for loving so well in His name.
The women on the street were a gift to me. Their faces and stories remain with me. I pray for them often and hope for peace, joy and safety and oh, so much love.
Oh my goodness Becky!!!! What a powerful message you’ve written. Thank you so much ! I’m writing now , brushing tears away so I can see. The desires of us all are the same! The gap between us and God is also basically the same as well. After three months of sharing our home with a 20 yr old homeless mother of two & one of her daughters, I see my sin & some of my “issues” more clearly than ever before.
As we in that day stand before the King of Kings it will be so wonderful to finally be clean and free to praise Him together.
Bravo for your amazingly brave acts of kindness on the city streets of Seattle! Only God knows the implications for eternity. For sure your life was changed! Sent from my iPhone
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Laura, wow! How amazing for you to open your home to a woman and her family. Oh, my goodness. That is truly sacrificial and I can only imagine how having others in your home makes you aware of “issues”. Bless you!
What a beautiful post Becky. The angels appearing to the shepherds is one of the most moving parts of the Christmas story to me. God embracing those who were cast out. Emmanuel entering into all of their and my suffering, isolation, and depravity. Unspeakable. Incomprehensible. Life changing. Thank you for the reminder of how similar we all really are and the desires we all have for our children. I want the same reality of worship for my family as well. Lo and behold, our Redeemer!
You are very, very kind. Yes…we are the same.
“The star leads us all to the same manger, hope, and gift. It brings our humanity to the cradle of our desire—lo and behold, our Redeemer.”
The symbols of Christmas, as you wrote here, never grow old, for they are truth and life.
Thanks for the reminder, Becky.
Thank you!
The Light shown in the darkness and the darkness cannot put it out. That’s what happened for me as I read how you served hot chocolate and van shelter to those young people caught in their own darkness. That Light entered their hearts even if they consciously don’t remember it. You just loved them into “the soul felt its worth”. I love elves and St. Nicholas too, but Christmas is really about each of us knowing we were worth the Light coming into the world and offering us hot chocolate and shelter in a van, too. You were the LIGHT……are the LIGHT. Love this.
Thank you, Michelle! It is true…what light brings. What we are offered to bring and what Jesus continues to bring over and over again to us. Love is pretty big and sometimes uncomplicated.
Thanks for strengthening me today, Becky. You must keep writing… We need your words and wisdom. Love you.
Thank you!
Your words are generous. I paused…caught my breath…and exhaled as you captured my heart’s fear and desire in the waiting for Christmas. This year has been one lived closer to the “other” side, the dark side, the life where following the rules does not always “work”. In the scary, dark, seamier-side, I feel closer to these women you befriended. In this darkness, the reality of a stable birth, the music from heaven, and the extraordinary surprises of joy in the ordinary and the difficult change me. My lungs fill with hope. Thank you.
Thank you! May the darkness allow the light to be seen more places. New ways of seeing is a gift.
This post went so many beautiful and honest places. I felt an invitation to reenter the Christmas story through your words and an excited curiosity as I wondered, “how will I approach the manger and who will I walk with to get there?”
Katy, may this season be new in many ways. Thank you for your kind and affirming words.
” I love surprise and want my children to be caught up in the goodness of the gifts of God.” I have wrestled with this again this year, feeling the desire to bring delight and surprise alongside the messages of judgement for Christmas being about anything other than Jesus’ birth – a rather somber one at that.
You’ve managed to paint a picture of embracing opposing realities – real life – in bringing hope and healing to the “night workers” along with your Christmas baking and caroling. Both are true and right celebrations of Jesus.
Thank you, Janet. Yes, we are bombarded with so much and it is a battle to see clearly and embrace the true light.
Thank you for sharing from your heart….for leveling us all out…our hope is the same no mater where we have been or where we are. Oh I long for the day when we are all at His feet…no more distinction between woman on the street vs. suburban mom vs…..etc. Bless you!
You are so true, our hope is the same. I cannot wait until Jesus returns and we are all bowing our knees on even ground! Yes….I long like you do. Thank you.
Oh, I long for that day too! More and more.