Stepping Towards the Impossible

My name, Esperanza, symbolizes faith – a step towards the impossible. I did not accept the name at first; I felt it to be very ordinary. I began to really love it when I found myself.

I remember my childhood as a great adventure of achievements and discoveries. I was dyslexic, something that I didn’t have a name for until I was an adult. Because of my dyslexia, I suffered bullying and grew up being a loner. I spent hours on my home’s rooftop, playing with the rabbits and chickens that lived up there. Although I was one of eight children I felt alone, never included or interested in my sibling’s games. My parents divorced early on in my childhood and the impact from that coupled with the challenges at school due to my dyslexia led to me being a rebellious teen.

After the divorce my mother had to take on two jobs. She had little time to spend with my younger siblings, and even less time for the household bills. I began working at 15 as a secretary. One of my goals was to make sure that my three youngest siblings had enough food, and toys. I spent my free time taking them out to parks, swimming, and circuses. I’ve always connected with Cinderella because I loved for things to be clean and organized and my mother and I clashed a lot. Eventually she sent me off to live with an aunt, which caused me a lot of pain. I missed being near my youngest siblings. By the time I came back home, two years later, my mother had sent them off to a boarding school. I decided it was time to leave my home and moved into a home for young women.

I began to volunteer at a nearby hospital fell in love with the medical field, later on in life I went back to school to become an elderly nurse.

I met my husband when I was twenty, he was a journalist with a very political and active social life. Three months after our first baby was born my husband died. Our son was born with a severely cleft lip which required twenty-one surgeries to correct. The road I had to walk was unbelievably difficult to say the least.

A few years after my husband’s death I met another man, we married and had a baby girl. We were married for 3 years but due to his alcohol addiction I decided to divorce him. That very painful divorce pushed me to make the decision to immigrate to the United States, in hopes of a better life for me and my children.

10 years later, my mother was dying and alone, so I decided to go back to Mexico and take care of her.  6 months later she died and leaving behind many unresolved issues tied to both family and legal conflicts.

In my life I have met several people who contributed tremendously to my outlook on life and my personal development.  I am grateful for each blessing and angel in disguise. One thing I do not do is quit.

I will not easily be shut down or turned away.

My life is a reflection of my name, continued steps towards the impossible. Through each season of my life I have continued on my path and looked forward to the next thing.  I am not done; I will choose my own time and place when I decide to slow down BUT never be done.

Esperanza loves spending time with family and friends.  She is an encourager with a tender heart of generosity to help those in need.  She continues to step into the unknowns and ‘what nexts’ of life with faith and courage.