In the aromatic twilight of fading spring, a child is born. This tiny one’s body and soul marvelously fashioned by the Grandmaster. Sculpted with gentle purpose inside her mother’s womb, she is known inside and out. A delight to the Creator, her beauty takes His breath away. She is cherished beyond measure. Her enchanted face, with its rosy cheeks and soulful blue eyes, captures the very heart of heaven. A newborn destined to glory.

Alas, not everyone is captivated by her presence. There are those quite envious of the infant’s beauty and intended Kingdom purpose. Her ruin consumes their thoughts. They scheme, watch and wait – knowing that one efficient moment could enslave and mar the beauty of this baby girl, perhaps for life.

And so it begins on a midsummer’s breeze in the year of her birth. A storm erupts across the firmament. In the midst of thunderous confusion, evil devours the sweet breath of her tiny body. Plunged into darkness, her little fingers grasp for life. The infant taken with lightening accuracy, evil laughs as she’s whisked away into the chaos of the night.

Shalom is shattered.

Deep in the arms of the enemy, words of deceit and accusation are spoken into the baby girl’s heart. “The Creator does not love you. If he did, he would come for you. This one you love has given you over to violent and fearful caregivers. He has betrayed you and he will not be the last. It is because you are ugly that no one protects you. You are like a piece of trash discarded to the heap. Cease your struggle; there is nothing you can do. You will soon see that I speak truth. Then you will know the measure of your worth.” Isolated and alone, these words disorder her thinking and wound her very soul.

The mass destruction of a baby girl’s beauty is well underway. And the darkness laughs as a little one is beat down.

True to its word, as the child matures, unspeakable horrors await as more of her beauty is spoiled. The enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy. Daggers of betrayal, powerlessness and ambivalence accurately pierce the very glory of her sexual essence.

There was no protection or rescue – how foolish to faithfully hope. There was no true love. Scrambled solutions fail. She loses her true name, a once truth speaking voice becomes cynical and upon her face she wears the mask of death. What did it matter? It is what it is.

Thus, she built her life around remembered lies. Overwhelmed by guilt and shame she buries a devastated heart. Soon, the Creator’s face dissolves like vapor. The brilliant warmth of His delight vanishes from memory. Days of laughter that faintly echo in her soul, a mere figment of her imagination that must be silenced. She no longer smiles, held captive by her own shame…dirty, crazy, stupid, ugly whore…the very intent of evil.

And the dark one smirks with victory.

Scrambling to numb such profound agony, from within a strong protector arises to retain toxic emotions and pain within the crypt of her heart. Good intentions to keep her safe… and yet, her true self was concealed along with many beautiful pieces of her heart – hope, passion, desire, joy, imagination, playfulness, artistry… caged by addictions that seals their fate.

Who will help her become unburdened?

As in every good story (or at least in many of my favorites), there is a hero that offers rescue to the distressed maiden. Will she accept his hand? Will she courageously look at the truth of her story? Or will she continue to let evil fill the vacuum? Will she remember the truth of who she is?

I am Robyn Whitaker, a woman going back for my true self. Who I was originally created to be before the destruction and living in remembered lies. Speaking the truth of what happened to me as a child and opening my heart in kindness to mourn the pain and loss of a vibrant little girl. My hero is Jesus Christ, who came to heal the brokenhearted and set the captives free! After countless rounds of intense wrestling…me, a woman captured by His faith, hope and love that always speaks truth to my heart. How ironic. I don’t get it; I just know it is true.

This deep engagement with my story has been the craziest… wildest… riskiest adventure I have ever undertaken. Every day I see new glimpses of who it is that I am. And one day….I will live happily ever after in the Creator’s Kingdom! Always and forever…

My true self.


Robyn Whitaker

Dear Reading Friends,
I have enjoyed writing for Red Tent Living. It has been an honor to be chosen as an author for this site. Also, it has been dangerous to put myself out there as a writer in such a public media – worldwide, imagine that! Writing is a part of my true self that I have struggled to embrace. In celebration of this beautiful part of Robyn, I will be pursuing different venues for my writing. I know there are so many good things to read out there and you have choices. You all have been so very kind. Thank you for taking the time to read my pieces, like, share and comment. I have enjoyed meeting many of you across the country as you have recognized my face at a seminar, or waiting in a line at the airport, grocery store, or yes, even in the women’s restroom. That has been so fun! Today, I say goodbye. And, oh how I do hope we meet again.
Keep reading Red Tent Living!
Love, Robyn