Every woman is beautiful. Or at least that is what scripture tells us. Ephesians 2:10 calls us “God’s Masterpiece. “ Women throughout the Bible are called beautiful – Sarai, Rebekah, Rachel, Abigail, Tamar and Esther to name a few. Yet, if I were to ask them if they felt beautiful, some would deny it. Sarai felt she was too old be a mother. Tamar felt tainted because of being raped. Where is the beauty God bestowed on these women? For how long will it remain hidden?
That is a question I have faced. How long will I let my beauty be hidden? How long Becky, will you hide your femininity? How long until you embrace the beautiful woman God created?
Two years ago these questions were proposed and then probed by some skillful leaders. “Why are you trying so hard to hide your beauty?” “Why have you not accepted YOU are a daughter of Christ?” “What are you going to do to change?” The questions overwhelmed me. At 35 years old I had never been called beautiful, let alone felt beautiful. I didn’t feel like a daughter to anyone! Did I even want to change?
In my eyes, beauty was not burning within me. I could see it around me. I could see God’s masterpiece and beauty when I took walks – just not in me.
Change was on the horizon however. The more I explored why I hid my beauty and denied myself being a daughter of the King, the more my eyes were opened. God opened doors. He tore down walls around my heart. Not only was my attitude and outlook changing, but so was my outward presence. A year after being overwhelmed about beauty, I bought something… something feminine. Something I am now proud to wear!
Yes, I bought boots!
This month marks two years since learning I need to accept who I am in Christ. It marks two years since I was called “daughter.” It marks two years since being encouraged to embrace my femininity. It marks change. I no longer have in my wardrobe “men’s jeans.” All the jeans I own are now women’s and some are even jeweled! I don’t always hide behind t-shirts and sweatshirts and tennis shoes and a hat.
Sometimes we need documentation of change – even to reaffirm our own hearts. That is what I find this morning. Old ways becoming obsolete and new ways emerging. A maturity of sorts…
Finally, the reminder that no matter what the evil one wants me to believe, I am a daughter of Christ!! I am branded for life as such. I am just as beautiful as Sarai, Rebekah, Rachel, Abigail, Tamar and Esther.
Becky is a small town girl at heart. She treasures the true friendships developed throughout her years journeying on the healing path. Growth and change are things she has embraced, and she is beginning to fully live. This October she will begin Graduate School for a Master’s of Arts in Biblical Studies.
Loved reading and seeing the transformation of your heart opening! Thank you for sharing!
Becky…I love what your boots represent for you…not something forced or fabricated…but something discovered…your femininity that has always been there. Such a joy to be with you in some of those moments where you have locked eyes with what is so precious in you. Keep being fully you in all things! Thank you for sharing what has been a sacred journey of your heart! From one daughter to another, Cyndie
Dear Becky, I loved reading about your boots and your two years awareness of who you are in Christ. You are a dear and lovely young one to embrace this reality. You have encouraged me greatly with your writing. Thank you for sharing so vulnerably. And I love your boots!
Thank you for sharing your heart and your story Becky! I love getting to hear some of the stories behind your boots and your tattoo…I imagine there is so much more 😉