Below are a couple of poems about ways we self-protect and “pull” people to feel a certain way about us. I have done these, felt these and seen them play out around me. I hope reading about them sheds light on our relationships in a way that acts as a window to let grace in for ourselves and others.
HelpFull
Oh you’re in trouble again?
I’m on my way.
I’ll bring many versions of the same smile
Because I’m fine
Like usual,
And this is obviously about you.
I don’t mind.
Actually I like all my friendships
This same self-sacrificing way
Where I force feed you
huge portions of my help
With my eyes only on me
And my smiles all over you.
I’m never hungry
So don’t bother me.
You will regret it.
Open wide.
Let me be
Stop bothering me
With your interest
Kind eyes
Smiles.
I care enough about myself for us both
Without your love barging through
My bluff of anger and cynicism
I’m desperate
For love
While being left alone.
You don’t know the blinds I have
to deal with
Inside myself
And fear would scream you away if you did.
It’s happened before.
Trust me.
Listen to the silence of my needs
Enough to take yourself out of the game
Where the stakes are high
And my inner rage even higher.
Shine Love somewhere else
And if you keep gambling on me
I’ll match your smile
And raise you one false pretense
That I’m listening
While I shove you
Back
Away
Until I’m
alone
And it’ll be your fault
For letting me win.
