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"katy johnson"

Confessions of a Relational Control Addict

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.

1 John 4:18

When I left for college, I experienced a major friendship shift. The people who had known me during adolescence were replaced with a whole college campus unable to pick me out of a crowd. Intimacy rapidly flipped to isolation and the change was completely disorienting. Continue reading “Confessions of a Relational Control Addict”

Christmas Courage

Out the window, tiny flakes hang suspended in the air before rushing to the earth with a strong gust of wind. I watch the process repeat over and over again, my heartbeat getting caught up in the swirling rhythm outside. Continue reading “Christmas Courage”

In the right now ordinary.

“I think those women are checking you out again,” Jeremy had a wry grin on his face, refusing to let me off the hook for how “CUTE!” the women at the bar had insisted I looked tonight.

“Well you know, I AM rather fetching…” I said it with a hair toss, not to be out done by my most extroverted friend. But my slightly arched eyebrow spoke another message, “Don’t you dare drag me over there for awkward stranger bonding.” Continue reading “In the right now ordinary.”

The Bible is ruining my love life.

The breeze was soft and the air outside just a bit sticky, which meant the curls in my hair were curlier than usual. Never a bad thing from my perspective, particularly for a first date.  Continue reading “The Bible is ruining my love life.”

Forever unfolding.

“I’ve decided God is about the things that come really easy or really, REALLY hard. Everything else is just me believing if I give the right amount of effort, I’ll get the result I want. Life is a lot of me pretending I have my act together.” Continue reading “Forever unfolding.”

Be Quiet

My favorite place to argue used to be the bathroom. As a teenager filled with angst and a strong sense of the injustice wrought upon me by the world, I found the best place to decompress was under a steamy hot showerhead, verbally spewing all of the things I wished I could say out loud. Continue reading “Be Quiet”

If The Worst Should Happen

“What’s your deepest fear?” the survey asked.

I chuckled.

“All of the fears,” was my response. Continue reading “If The Worst Should Happen”

Here I Go.

Jumpy. That’s how I felt—like a skittish deer who thought she could make a break for the other side of the freeway, changed her mind at the very last second, and leapt back from the road to narrowly avoid a semi truck. Continue reading “Here I Go.”

Still Moving

I square myself to the lateral metal file cabinets, each with three safety-interlocking drawers filled with project files. Folders are tabbed in alphabetical order by client name and year—the painstaking work of someone far more meticulous than me. Continue reading “Still Moving”

Signs and Wonders.

Ash Wednesday.

A chalked smearing of celebration tasted—now absent, ached for, and anticipated. Continue reading “Signs and Wonders.”

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